why does gmail like to turn my pages blue without my permission?

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my computer has a notorious habit of turning itself off without warning regardless of whether I have it plugged in to keep its power from draining so I am always afraid to write something and come back to it later without making sure that it is saved just in  case it gets lost in the ether.

of course some may argue that some pieces of writing deserve to be destroyed.

I was once in a workshop where we were told to write something and then toss it away without showing it to anybody.

it was the most pointless exercise I have ever been a part of in my life but still preferable to the task of picking up autumn leaves in the compound of an educational facility where missionaries were permitted to dwell along with a few other odd bods who needed a place to shelter.

optus lied about the date of my credit expiry but i’m not going to fight them any more about it cos they gave me a prize of free art lessons which I decided to pass onto a little lady I love to spoil because they are designed for young ones not big ole me.

I scream when people tease me yet i’m addicted to doing things that cause people to give me mockery.

it’s almost as if i’m a glutton for punishment.

I seem to have self destructive tendencies when it comes to relationships.

there appears to be a wicked part of me that attempts to destroy any relationship I decide to enter into.

I know enough based on over thirty years of experience in relationships to know not what to do yet I can’t seem to find a woman who is willing to let me experiment on her with my feelings and emotions and test whether we can find a love and devotion that lasts beyond both our lifetimes.

sometimes my problem is i’m looking for a woman who is too young or one who lives  too far away from me.

this doesn’t have to be a problem if either one of us is willing to relocate but I need a chaperone to take me to her.

I am physically capable of travelling on my own but my parents control access to my passport.

they have access to my bank account and control my ability to obtain funds to some degree cos my mom transfers the money I receive from the government every fortnight from the accounts she looks after into three accounts.

one of these accounts has the biggest amount of money in it.

the other one has a smaller amount which is used for smaller purchases and there is another one which I have access too any time I like.

she set up this situation because I was giving money to a lady I liked in church.

this woman never went out with me.

we just attended the same dance party and she didn’t spend any time with me she just told me how to find it.

at that party a young Asian lady was grinding on me but she didn’t want to speak when I started saying hello to her.

when I was outside the party waiting for my folks I acted like a snob towards a kind hearted young lady just because her face was pale and or because she didn’t listen to hip hop or know who busta rhymes was.

I no longer see appreciation for busta rhymes as a deal breaker in relationships.

these days i’d more likely go for a woman who listens to Lecrae though I still prefer women with brown faces or ethnic backgrounds connected to Africa .

I no longer care if the woman I love despises hip hop although as I do want to be a rapper it would make it awkward to be romantically involved with someone who a) thinks your music is the soundtrack to satans kingdom or b) just can’t stand the sound of the style you love or b) acts like my snobby friend and calls rap artists rape artists just cos of a few bad eggs that make life harder for the rest of us rappers who don’t wanna be gangsters or pranksters and just wanna love God or make life a happy place with our music.

for the right woman I would give up hip hop and just be a painter.

if I found out she also hates my art I don’t know what I would do.

I would still love her but I would probably cry myself to sleep every night wishing a) we shared the same passions or b) she showed a little love for what I do even if she had no desire to follow in my footsteps or the footsteps of those who came before me who showed me the way to shine bright with their artistic prowess like jean michel Basquiat , blair linn and nina simone.

it is not always true that people don’t care what you know until they know that you care.

I used to believe that adage but then I thought to myself the other day I would still admire my bestie and want to know she’s alright even if she kept me at a distance and never bothered to say hi or even smile and wave in my direction back when we were in second grade and just getting to know each other.

although I agree with those who say that religion can be used to abuse people I do proceed with caution in nodding my head when they say that cos what they think is abuse can simply be the normal expression of Christianity.

what seems like insanity to the world makes sense to those who have allowed God to take possession of their hearts and transform their lives forever.

often as humans we are guilty of idolizing people or possessions.

I still have to reach a place where i’m able to be in a relationship with a woman without treating her like a replacement goddess.

I hate it when people say that God’s creation is His body.

that’s a lie from the pits of hell.

God doesn’t need us in order to work miracles all He requires is His ever present all powerful all knowing self.

without the presence of God in this universe it has neither existence nor wealth.

selah ❤


the profits of falseness and its devastating side effects

DatmEGuUMAAxPyTit is falsehood to preach that those who fail to give tithes and offerings are the moral equivalent of masturbators in God’s eyes.

it is a lie to say that we can do anything without God’s help cos we would have the ability to do nothing if God didn’t enable us to do it regardless of whether we believe in HIm or not.

God wants us to use our money to expand HIs kingdom but He doesn’t care if you stick money in the offering bucket or not.

His blessing on our lives is not dependent on whether we give money to a church individual or para church organisation.

He can bless you financially just as much if you stick your money in your own pocket as He can if you stick it in somebody elses.

bill gates uses his money to kill babies in the womb in Africa yet God still blesses him with a ridiculous amount of financial prosperity.

don’t believe any liar that tells you to give money to church if you are in debt financially.

Jesus said neither a borrower or a lender be.

therefore we are not supposed to take out loans from the bank.

we are not supposed to loan other people money.

we are supposed to give without expecting in return.

we are supposed to be motivated by our love for Him not by greed.

it is financially irresponsible and stupid to give offerings and tithes to a church when you owe somebody money, when you are in debt up to your eyeballs.

we are not supposed to use credit cards only debit cards.

credit  cards use other peoples money and add to your pile of debt.

you may say but I have no money in the bank.

well my friend where is your trust in God to meet your needs?

cant He supply all your needs according to HIs riches in glory like He says in HIs word?

think carefully what the word need means

do you need to be alive and breathing if you believe in Jesus?

no so He doesn’t need to give you money

He just chooses to do so cos He wants you breathing so you can expand HIs kingdom.

only an idiot would believe that our success is measured by the amount of finances we gain here on earth.

it is not he or she with the most toys in their hands that wins come the last day of their life but the one whose heart and soul belongs to Jesus who is willing to bleed to death for HIm who is fearless in sharing HIs love at any given opportunity.

these are the true champions  and these people should be your heroes not zeroes who only care about piling up gold rather than the contents of our souls.

we are like cicadas leaving the shells of our bodies behind and flying away either to paradise or a place of terrible unceasing torment.

I have been challenged recently thinking about how if I am ashamed of God on earth He will be ashamed of me before HIs father in heaven and deny me access to heaven.

I don’t want to suffer as a result of my incompetence in spreading the gospel.

it’s ok to be incompetent at spreading the gospel as long as youre not reluctant to do so.

something is wrong if you are married to your wife or husband or if you have a girlfriend or boyfriend and you never want to talk about them, if you always contradict what they say is true if you only act faithful to them when you don’t appear to gain anything by cheating on them, if you are only faithful to them when theres nobody else around who you consider to be more attractive or just as attractive as them.

the same rule applies to our relationship with God .

I wont go to hell for not talking about Jesus because I have done so .

is fulfilling the great commission as simple as saying Jesus loves you once in a lifetime?

are we required to do more than the bare minimum and tell one person unless you believe in Jesus and apologise to HIm for your sins you will burn in hell?

does God have a quota ?

are we supposed to take every given opportunity to spread the gospel?

it would appear from the passage about sheep and goats that this is the case.

how much leniency do you think God has with our slackness?

how much leeway does He give us in regards to our work ethic and the restrictions that may be placed upon us cos of those who employ us?

I don’t think God would give us a hall pass for not preaching the gospel just because our company has a policy about proselytising .

we should not fear losing our jobs for the sake of the gospel cos God can always give us a new one and even if He  doesn’t and we starve to death it is better to spend one day in HIs house and eternity in HIs kingdom than a thousand lifetimes elsewhere or to be anywhere else in the universe than in HIs home and presence where fullness of joy and freedom from sickness worry sin and fear abide.

we shouldn’t give money to folks in need so we can gain money from God but simply in gratitude cos of what He did by choosing to be nailed by His hands and feet to the cross and have a crown of thorns pushed into HIs scalp and be whipped with bits of bone and glass and be spat upon and stripped naked and humiliated and suffer abandonment experiencing His father self turn HIs back on HIm cos He couldn’t stand the sight of sin ( our sin) on Him all because He loves us even when we hate Him even when we deny HIs existence even when we take HIm for granted and spit in the face of His grace.

if the greatest sacrifice in the world doesn’t motivate you to be generous nothing will and nothing should trump your motive to be benevolent besides HIs bloodshed.

He is our reason for being.

do not fool yourself that you can buy a ticket to heaven by being a big dipper and displaying your magnanimous nature by giving tithes and offerings every week.

God doesn’t need your money to advance HIs kingdom.

HIs miracles don’t come in a vending machine .

His factory of limitless body parts for those who are amputees isn’t gonna cease operations just cos your cash quits flowing into HIs pockets.

how limited is our view of God if we think that.?

that’s pathetic.

there is no limit to what our God  can do in and through and despite our willingness or reluctant coercion into coughing up cash with a forced twisted hand turned by one stronger in will than us.

we give because He lives in us.

we give cos His nature transforms us.

not cos He has commanded it but because the change He brings to the way we perceive the world changes how we see people and changes what we value so we value people more than things and value souls more than finances .

selah ❤


wonder never arrives thanks to provocation only of its own accord

it is foolish to assume that because somebody has an uneducated guess that the world has no beginning and end that there assumption regarding the origins of the universe gives them authority to define the creation of all living things as occurring randomly without the intervention of an intelligent designer in the ingenious process of the awakening into life of all that ever was is or will be.

you cannot defend the rights of humans to protect themselves with guns or any other kind of weapon if you don’t believe an infant in the womb has no right to breathe outside the womb when they have no ability to prevent their destruction at the hands of their father mother or other demented beings intending to eradicate them from the planet.

it is a fallacy to presume that just because some people want to lock up folks for saying that you are the gender God gave you that this means they are right and factual in stating that your genitals don’t determine your gender and gender is fluid unless we are talking about hermaphrodites .

something doesn’t cease to be true just because you refuse to believe  it, neither does a lie become true if you say it often enough , you just create a bigger army or mob of people who are deceived and brainwashed and perhaps so used to believing a lie that they have suppressed their God given critical thinking ability to use their conscience to discern the difference between right and wrong.

we cannot solely trust our instincts and conscience cos our instincts and conscience can become numb but if we turn to God as the guide for our morality we will never make an erroneous choice or regret our decisions made in the moment.

the best argument to not take mary jane is that it destroys your brain cells.

many drugs can effect your ability to reproduce.

usage of steroids has been linked to shrinking a mans winky dink.


consider this

what if God wanted you to be in a particular place at a particular moment to meet a particular person and change their life for the better ?

we often talk about wanting to change the world but we are not always conscious of the fact that not all change is good .

my friend spoke of going to a country and finding that she was changed by it rather than  changing it but she was thinking too lowly of herself.

she did actually instigate change in the self image of the people she encountered encouraging them to develop their country instead of leaving for more golden opportunities waiting for them overseas.

she spoke to them of how some people have crushes on members of the opposite sex and they get bro zoned or sister zoned.

perhaps this has happened to you and you cant possibly imagine anything worse than being sibling zoned when the last thing you want to be to someone is a friend or sibling you want them truly madly deeply you want to kiss and cuddle them you want to wake up every morning next to them you want them to be your bride or groom .

you want to play happy families with them .

you want to live out all those dreams that were inspired in you by watching movies about princes and princesses and sitcoms about families who may fight each other but they also fight for each other and love each other through the trials they face.

worse than being sibling zoned is knowing that you could have had that sweet experienced of being like a family member to someone and you threw it all away cos you wanted something more out of them than they were willing to give you.

you weren’t happy and  content just accepting their  friendship.

you had to push for a smooch.

you had to try and make the friendship into something it wasn’t and perhaps into something that God never intended it to be.

I know God doesn’t give us more than we can handle so He wont place you in a relationship with someone if He knows you are ill equipped to handle being with them.

you may say that God  can expand your ability to handle the situation you are in just like the koi fish expands its size when it’s placed from a smaller body of water into a bigger one.

it doesn’t matter that I didn’t get introduced to the friend of the woman I have a crush on.

its a good thing that more people don’t have the potential to know about my messed up life.

some say it’s  cathartic to let all your little kitten like feelings out the bag like this .

is this helping or hurting I honestly cant decide.

I went to a meeting today of writers from around my local area.

one of the speakers was talking about the difference between introspective and extroverted people.

I think it’s hard to give a cut and dry explanation of what an introvert or extrovert is cos something all of us can act like one or the other.

im not sure how helpful it is to shove people into boxes.

the speaker had a good approach to asking questions though.

she said don’t just ask people what they do ask them what they are passionate about cos we are so much more than simply what we do.

it always used to frustrate a pastor friend of mine when he had given up being a pastor in Africa then he came to Australia and had to start over and people in church would ask him what do you do and he didn’t know how to respond cos his wife was the bread winner .

there are some African pastors who will not wash the dishes cos they think its womens work and then there are others who will leap at an opportunity to show the woman they love what a marvel they are in the kitchen.

I felt like I was drifting away from God the last couple of days.

I started out just watching the videos of my friend who is a professional dancer and singer in America then the more I watched her videos the more I wanted her body even though I knew that she is sharing a house with a man and nothing is ever going to happen between us and we live on opposite sides of the world so its not like we have any hope of a future.

even if what I watch on television and on the internet doesn’t cause me to shake and scream I know it messes with my ability to rap cos I rap better when im actively avoiding those things I know make God’s heart sick.

whether it affects my body is less significant than whether it damages my spirit.

our bodies are spirit containers .

we leave them behind when we die.

we were not made for this world.

we were created for life beyond it.

I wish I could remember the names of people when I need to tell someone somebodys name and its right on the tip of my tongue but I cant push it forward past my larynx and get it popping out my mouth .

there is a woman I love who is basically the default mode setting on my heart.

whenever im not chasing after anyone else she is the one I automatically turn my affections towards.

its hard to get the balance right between talking too fast and talking too slow.

im far more used to being rejected than I am being accepted.

I used to say that I was a masochist .

sometimes its weird but I find it pleasurable when others cause me pain or maybe that’s not me but something lurking around me near the core of my being wanting to own me and make me believe that I am it.

its true that most of us want to avoid pain as much as we possibly can.

we want to make life easier for ourselves instead of harder.

its wrong to say that God is on your side if you are not walking in His will, if you are vacillating between pleasing HIm and despising HIm or just being totally ambivalent to Him and respecting His role as creator but not permitting HIm to intervene in your life the way He wants to either because you don’t believe He can or cos you know that to let Him have HIs way in you would require you making a greater commitment to Him than you already have or in the case of some folks take that initial step and giant leap of trusting in Him and taking your little hand in His big one knowing He will catch you every time you fall.

there is something wrong with folks who wont listen to certain rappers cos they sound too Christian yet these people who are saying this also call themselves Christians.

why would you want to listen to music that just makes you feel depressed or angry which doesn’t glorify God in any way shape or form cos the rappers who do this never mention Him even if they claim to be HIs followers they just rant about how horrible their life is ?

its true that money cant make you happy.

some of us think if we are rich and famous we will be happy but if you weren’t happy before you were rich and famous you wont be happy after you become rich and famous you will just be rich and loaded down with worry over how you are going to spend your money how long its gonna last and whether someone is eyeing off your riches.

you may be afraid they are only friends with you cos you’ve got that greenback stack.

in this situation folks tend to worry less when they have their day ones around them.

if people have been with you when you didn’t have a dollar in your pocket you are more inclined to buy them a movie ticket or treat them to coffee or a fur coat when they come round your door cupping their hands in the shape of a begging bowl.

always be open to new experiences that don’t cause you to burn in a pit of fire.

praise God for every breath you take cos you never know when your next one is gonna be your last ❤


a lad in sane

I saw the animated Disney movie Aladdin when it first came out in cinemas in 1992.

this was the first movie I ever saw in my life so naturally it will always stick out in my memory .

it was with great reluctance that I decided to go and see the new live action version knowing it would be different to how I remembered it even if by some miracle they managed to make everything exactly how it was in the first movie only using real people not pixelated transformations of pen and ink artistic offerings .

the first major change I noticed in the new movie was the way Aladdin got from the streets to the cave of wonders and how he met up with jafar .

in the original movie he doesn’t meet jafar until he gets thrown in prison.

jafar appears as a wizened old man who convinces Aladdin to escape from their predicament , forcing him to do him a favour in return for his kindness in helping him avoid a life rotting behind bars.

in the new version jafar meets up with Aladdin in a non penitentiary and far more palatial environment and doesn’t become imprisoned by anything other than a magical lamp.

in the original version Aladdin uses clever words to trick the genie into extricating him from trouble without saying the phrase I wish.

in this latest version Aladdin is far less linguistically ingenious and it is only the monkey rubbing the lamp instead of him that ensues his wish remains discounted .

I was told that will smith’s genie character would be rapping in this movie but I was disappointed that he was only rapping a little bit not all the way through.

the genie character was different in this movie because the genie becomes human.

in the original movie abu aladdins monkey friend touches a ruby that is resting on a monkey idol in the cave of wonders.

in the new version there is no monkey idol.

in the original movie the magic carpet was not trapped under any rock he was just flying around.

in the new movie Aladdin becomes the benefactor of the carpet by loosening the rocks grip on him.

in the original movie iago was fed crackers by the sultan.

when jafar became the sultan iago forced the sultan to eat the crackers.

this hilarious incident sadly was never replicated in the new movie.

as an adult I was more grossed out by the genie cross dressing as a woman during the prince ali song probably because it was more of a realistic portrayal than the original movie.

in the new movie we are introduced to a new character dahlia who is the handmaiden of jasmine .

dahlia later becomes genie’s wife when he takes on human form after he is freed from slavery to humans wishes by the benevolent Aladdin.

this time round the genie chooses to give Aladdin the ability to dance.

in the original movie Aladdin coasted on his natural charm alone .

the biggest tear jerker moment for me was seeing Aladdin and jasmine sing a whole new world together.

all those years ago I dreamed of finding a princess as beautiful as jasmine to fill my honey moon bed and my heart .

I haven’t entirely given up on that dream but I have found it extremely difficult to be patient as I work with God to make it come true.

the genie isn’t described as being all knowing like God is but he is described as being all powerful which is a lie cos the only being that possesses the ability to harness all power available in the universe is Elohim .

maybe sometimes its better to let cartoon movies from our childhood which we love and cherish remain stuck in our memory banks so they don’t become spoiled by comparison in later years when Hollywood attempts to recycle old ideas and squeeze fresh drops of greenback juice from the proverbial cash cow.

I was a fan of jasmines ambition to be a female sultan.

I thought it refreshing that she didn’t see her chief ambition in life to be somebodys wife although she still saw Aladdin as part of her life and she valued him for who he was not what he could bring to the table financially ( which was diddily squat) .

one interesting change from the original movie that the new one chooses to make is opting not to include the fact that in the original movie jasmine is under pressure to choose a suitor before she turns sixteen.

traditionally in muslim and middle eastern culture as well as in ancient roman times it was common to marry at the onset of puberty.

this was also true of pre Dickensian England to some degree.

if a woman didn’t marry at the dawn of adolescence often she was forced into a life of prostitution or begging on the streets if she didn’t have the protection of aristocratic peerage to prevent her from treading down this unwelcome path ( as perceived through the eyes of the majority of todays world or at least those who the eyes of the media focus on ).

in the new movie the blue diamond ring on the sultans finger is only a symbol of power.

in the original movie it has a magical ability to control people and is used by jafar to control the sultan.

in the new movie the sultan is controlled using the hypnotic effects of jafars snake sceptre which bizarrely still appears to work even after being whacked on the floor by Aladdin.

in the original movie there is no moment when jasmine quizzes Aladdin on the whereabouts of his kingdom forcing him to locate it on a map unlike in the new movie where the genies magic  causes aladdins mythical homeland to appear out of nowhere on the parchment scroll.

I have to thank withashleyandco.com for reminding me that in the original Aladdin movie a man is swallowed whole by the lion like cave of wonders with a roaring fiery mouth.

no one gets pushed down a well in the new movie but jafar does this cruel act in the original one.

in the original movie abu is turned into a monkey by jafar .

in the new movie this trick is performed by the genie.

I didn’t pick up on the show of respect for muslims made by the creators of the new movie by changing sunday salaam to Friday salaam giving a more accurate reflection of the day of the week consider shabat for Islamic people or the day where we are supposed to rest from work and meditate on who God is .

it was hard for will smith to fill the big shoes left behind by robin Williams.

he doesn’t have the same talent for pulling off a multitude of accents or imitations of accents.

I was impressed by the gigantic golden camel in the prince ali song’s parade.

one major difference between the movies is in the original jasmine never visits Aladdin in his home before they get married and she does in the new one.

it is hard to decide who is in a worse situation when you compare the lives of Aladdin and jasmine prior to meeting each other.

jasmine had one dead mother and one living father.

Aladdin had two dead parents.

she lived in a palace and had garments that nobody but she was allowed to wear and the potential to access as many of them as she could ever possibly desire in one lifetime.

Aladdin had to steal for every mouthful that passed through his lips but conversely compared with jasmine he had the freedom to go anywhere he wanted and do whatever he liked.

it was obvious jasmine could see through him like cellophane as the wily lass eventually figured out he was never a prince but she didn’t let his deceitfulness prevent her from choosing him as a mate a move which some ladies might consider foolhardy cos if you don’t trust him before marriage its likely the snake will emerge from the grass in his personality further down the track.

of course God can change people.

they can only change however if they are willing to be changed their characters and personalities are never altered by coercion alone.

in the new movie the genie contradicts his statement about not causing people to fall in love cos the dancing abilities he gives Aladdin is one of the reasons jasmine falls in love with him.

she is love struck by his clumsy efforts to impress her.

it is not his skills that impress her but the fact that he made a fool of himself or just simply because he bothered to make an effort to claim her heart.

I don’t think the ambitions of women have changed since the nineteen nineties I just think in our modern world there is more of a push for women to seek purpose and identity outside the traditional role of being a homemaker.

this is fine for some women but it is not what every woman needs to be and it is not what every woman should be ( leader of the free world or flotus or potus ) cos not every woman desires the responsibility of running a country or wants to be a c e o .

it is awesome though that in our day and age this is an option for most women who live in western countries.

sadly this is not the case for those who don’t.

we must pray this world becomes a freer place where every woman is free to live out jasmines dream to take on whatever career path they choose  and to have the kind of relationships with the opposite sex that result in neither partner or participant being dominant over the other.

this I believe is the world God intended us to live in before the fall ❤



orphan’s kingdoms

I felt compelled by God to write this particular blog post for the purpose of raising awareness of the needs of my friend in Kisi Kenya who runs a childrens orphanage.

if you feel God is moving your heart to help him please give your money to pastor Cyprian ayema. you can find him on facebook through https://www.facebook.com/cyprianayema.onsongo

I woke up this morning to find I had picked a hole in the outside of my nose.

its hard to believe I did this while I was sleeping.

when I woke the hole had turned to a scab but there is still a few drops of blood oozing out the sides of it.

before this moment I wouldn’t have believed it was possible for a man to murder his wife while he was sleeping but I have proven through my experience that its possible to cause pain to yourself while you are sleeping so its possible that the same rule applies to causing pain to somebody else.

this morning I was moved by what paul says in ephesians 5:9 about the fruit of the light consisting of goodness righteousness and truth.

I have never wanted to be a liar but I have often found myself guilty of speaking lies.

I don’t always give to charity or put my coins in the offering bucket but I aim to be a good and righteous person even though I know I am flawed and capable of terrible depravity.

at the meeting dad went to today they talked about what james said on the tongue.

the tongue has the power of life and death within it and those who love it shall eat its fruit.

if our tongue speaks death it is not the fruit of light but the fruit of darkness.

for the purpose of understanding this text we must see darkness as being representative of evil.

in the past evil has been associated with skin color but this is a false connection that God never intended to be threaded together nor should any of HIs true followers or any of the authors of the most holy scriptures.

in HIm there is neither jew nor greek slave nor free.

the ultimate rainbow village or country is not in Johannesburg or san Francisco but on the other side of the pearly gates. ❤

paul reminds us that we should meditate on that which is beneficial to the future of our souls and the souls of those around us .

in philippians 4:8 he commends us …

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.

I know I do not always think the best of people.

quite often I find myself assuming that my neighbours are plotting and scheming thinking up ways to do me in and rob me blind or kill me or hurt me if I ever get close enough to the fence for them to punch the lights out of me.

I can hear them insulting me sometimes as they puff their brains into a state of non existence huffing on their mary jane .

I do not let their evil talk bother me.

I know who God has called me to be.

I know my destiny lies in HIs kingdom .

the lies of the world do not define my identity only what He thinks and knows about who I am.

I don’t know what its like to be an orphan.

my mum and dad do.

it hurts more and its harder to deal with when you lose your parents earlier in life I have heard it said.

the more time you get to spend with them the more happy memories you have to look back on.

even those who have had unhappy childhoods and have been brutalized by their parents can if they think long and hard find something to thank God for in their parents lives even if it was just the fact that they are co responsible along with HIs divine hands for bringing them into the world.

for some of us all our parents ever gave us was clothing food a roof over our heads and an education.

for some of us our parents only ever gave us transportation.

some little children in Africa cannot afford access to medical care and clean drinking water.

consequently they die of starvation.

they die of preventable diseases.

sometimes this occurs because of female genital mutilation because of mens fear that a woman might become pregnant so they cut off her clitoris so she can no longer obtain a pleasurable experience from sexual relations and they sew up her labia .

this makes it hard for her to avoid urinating.

it is often hard for her to get to the toilet before the urine comes out her bladder.

in some cases it is not possible to fix this problem in a woman without the usage of nothing else but time spent in your war room on your hands and knees pouring out your pain to God and seeing HIm wonderfully miraculously answer your prayers.

in other cases He uses the hands and feet of skilled doctors and nurses to rescue a patients life and make her life less miserable and more joyful than it would be had not some generous donor intervened and enabled her to experience a more prosperous future.

some women kill their babies accidentally cos they are told to squat when they are pregnant.

consequently the baby is delivered to the world dead.

it is not good for society to force a woman into marriage.

it is also unhelpful to discourage a woman from pursuing a marriage relationship just because she has other options in life cos those options need not be exhausted by her choice of marriage.

a good partner will understand her and help her to flourish and live out Gods specific calling on her life.

it is sad tragic and horrendous that some muslim men use their religion as an excuse to beat up their wives and abuse them.

in some cases they may get so carried away that their partner ends up dead.

this also happens in Christian households but in our holy book we have no advocacy for a husband beating up his wife.

it is just the evil nature humans are born with that pushes them to do evil things and disobey God.

we do not however have to remain slaves to this evil nature.

God can dip us in HIs blood and change our nature into one more reflective of His heart.

if a man has more than one wife he is more likely to mistreat his wives.

it is almost impossible not to take sides and play favourites.

I find it impossible to watch a football game without choosing either Chelsea or arsenal.

I know there are other teams I am just picking examples of two teams being chosen to play against each other and the viewer finding it almost impossible to avoid taking sides.

this is the same when it comes to arguments.

note for husbands when your wife is arguing with her sister she is always right even when shes wrong.

she is wrong when you get home and nobody else is looking .

she is always wrong offline and never on facebook where everyone can see your comments and judge you accordingly.

a man must never insult his wife in front of other people and he must also be careful not to insult her at home when only God is watching the two of them.

it is easy to misunderstand what somebody is saying because we hear their tone of voice.

it serves no purpose to correct somebody for mispronouncing a word or using the wrong word .

we may inquire is this what you mean ? and give an example if we genuinely need to know why somebody is saying something or precisely what it is they are saying.

I hate the fact that its so easy for us to communicate on the internet these days because its just as easy to fall into love as it is to fall out of it.

because we don’t have to wait a long time to think of what to say in response like we did in the days where all we could use was a stone or a piece of paper to communicate our heart it is too easy for us to be careless with our words.

I fear our world is becoming more trivialized.

that is why those of us who love poetry find ourselves harking back to the ancient oracles , those orators or griots of old who regaled us with centuries long tales of our people, veritable walking compendiums of knowledge who were paid to pass on stories and create elaborate tales of how incredible a ruler was to puff up their pride and for the sake of posterity , for history’s sake, for the sake of all who would come after them so they would never be forgotten and wiped from the slates of our peoples collective memory.

there used to be a time where the king or queen might chop off your head if you were working as a jester and they didn’t take kindly to your insult.

this is also why you never see an ugly painting of a king or queen because the artists were wont to give a true depiction lest their neck be found swinging from a rope outside the courtly window on the nearest tree branch.

it is a shame to see writers being devalued in our society.

it is good to see that so many have come out of the woodwork in our day and age and declared themselves purveyors of culture .

it is true that the more commonplace what we do becomes the more it is seen as a commodity and the less worth is placed on it.

it brings me tears of sorrow to see some rappers who are from the boom bap school of thought denigrate trapper rappers and call them mumble rappers.

I have not heard every trap rapper in existence but most of them are not mumbling they are speaking clearly and coherently.

they just use a lot of repetition and they speak faster than the speed of a normal conversation so it seems as if your brain has to run faster to keep up with them.

it is not that a trapper is more skilled than a boom bapper or vice versa.

it is just a different type of skill.

a boom bap rapper will do clever things with his writing.

he will tend to use less adlibbing in his verses and he will tend to pay more attention to making his words rhyme.

he may also try to make more than one word rhyme in a sentence.

I used to think that when rappers are sharing their verses with the world that they are always talking from their point of view but my bud g t dyne musiq schooled me that this is not always so.

in his rap roar he gives the point of view of those from a European background as well as that of folks from an African American background.

sometimes rappers speak in  code.

in Jamaica it used to be necessary to codify your language on a record cos you weren’t allowed to use naughty words on stage.

this used to be the case for most mainstream radio stations in America too be they Christian or secular.

we are living in a world where some Christian rappers think its ok to swear.

I think if youre swearing on a record you shouldn’t call yourself a Christian rapper.

theres a difference between cussing in an interview and not planning what you are going to say and intentionally crafting a lyric in the studio where you have a chance to edit your work before releasing it for all the world to hear.

I can hear my bud missy in my head reminding me to be joyful so I will endeavour to focus on the joy of the Lord .

this is after all where my strength lies.

without Christ working through me I am nothing but a figment of my own imagination.

sometimes when im at the shops I am seized by an item.

I cannot walk past it.

it screams the name of the person I should buy it for at me in a language inaudible to everyone else in the universe and completely unable to be comprehended by anyone but Jesus and i.

I berate myself for not being able to save money but I praise the Lord for having a generous government who looks after my financial needs .

I feel sorry for folks who live in countries unlike mine who do not get to benefit from the redistribution of other peoples tax dollars.

life is hard for some kids who live in London England right now because there is an increase in deaths occurring through knife crime.

we cannot be so scared of evils presence that we find ourselves unwilling to confront it.

when we feel overwhelmed by it shaking in our boots we must remind ourselves that God has more angels on HIs team so He is always able to beat the enemy to a pulp.

it is funny to think of God gulping us.

our souls can be tasty to God or disgusting.

in revelations it speaks of the church of laodicea being spewed out of Gods mouth cos it is lukewarm and compromising.

I never want to be like that church.

it is possible to be friends with people in the world without permitting the world to become a part of our personality and character.

the bible is talking about evil behaviour when it talks of acting like the world or being carnally or fleshly minded.

some talk of Christians as if they are too heavenly minded to be of any earthly good but actually you are of no earthly good unless you are heavenly minded.

I do believe that it is possible to have a charitable and generous heart and not follow Christ however those who are benevolent and fail to put HIm above self and accept HIm in their heart are storing up treasures for themselves in heaven with their good deeds and simultaneously robbing themselves of the opportunity to ever get any benefit out of those treasures.

I don’t think it is possible to do any good deed without the input of God in your life.

you may not acknowledge He is helping you or motivating you to do good but how else would you explain that little voice you hear telling you to pay attention to the orphans need instead of ignoring it?

do you think you are capable of thinking good thoughts all by your lonesome?

wrong my friend

you agree with those godly thoughts you do not originate them. they are manufactured in heaven as are your body parts.

whoever says their body parts are a mistake is calling God a maker of mistakes which is the complete opposite of what He is cos its impossible for HIm to ever slip up. He only knows how to make flawless and perfect. the reason we are flawed right now is because of the consequences of sin not a flux in HIs blueprint.

it broke my heart when my mission team in Ethiopia was allowed to share bible stories with the kids at the school run by the nuns in the order of mother Teresa but we were not allowed to mention Jesus.

we told the story of david and goliath instead.

it was only many decades later thanks to the genius of Elohim and timothy brindles album and book release unfolding that I was able to comprehend how all of the bible points to Jesus including this passage about giant slaying.

in genesis we see the prophecy of the seed of the woman crushing the head of the serpent.

david is related to the bloodline of Jesus.

when david is attacking goliath goliath is described as having serpent like features.

david beats goliath with Gods help and Jesus is the seed who will ultimately crush the serpents head under His foot just as david severed goliaths head from his neck with goliaths own sword.

Jesus is the stone the builders rejected who became the chief cornerstone.

when the Pharisees heard Jesus talk about the temple being destroyed and raised in three days they thought He was referring to the temple in Jerusalem but He was referring to His own body dying and being raised from the dead.

when He spoke in Matthews gospel of spending three days in the heart of the earth as Jonah did in the giant fish He was not speaking of chilling out in a hole underground but of going to hell and liberating the good souls that had perished before His death from Abrahams bosom.

this place is located near hell and it is now empty.

because this place is not actually hell the place where it is and hell is can be referred to as the abode of the damned or the departed souls.

although life is not actually hell for orphans who weep every night into their pillows or the dirty patch of earth where they are forced to sleep it can be something similar to eternal punishment.

they may blame themselves for the death of their parents just as many children who are the victim of divorce point the finger of fault at themselves like a needle piercing a voodoo doll with intent to bring harm to self.

I feel sorry for those children who are forced to kill or be killed who are rounded up and made to kill their parents or be shot on sight if they fail to obey.

I feel sorry for those young orphan girls who are forced to live as brides of guerrilla fighters who blasphemously adopt names like Lords resistance army.

it is true they are the Lords army but they are not an army of salvation.

they are an army of damnation.

I went to Uganda cos I was moved by a book beasts of no nation by uzodinma iweala a former child soldier.

I just learned it got turned into two movies 🙂

this book motivated me to help out orphans which I am no longer doing financially but I hope to reach them through my prayers.

God can use you to change the world.

don’t let the opportunity slide past your nose and miss out on your heavenly blessing ❤




I was reading my emails when I stumbled into temptation thanks to amazon.

a luscious looking lady was selling her album.

after I investigated whether she used explicit language I gave in to the temptation to go further and investigate more scantily clad ladies’ albums.

this second one I investigated had even less to cover her body than the first.

if it was not for her hands strategically placed across her bosoms she would have been revealing her baby making apparatuses for all the world to see.

I told the world today I prefer women who dress modestly.

I make myself to be a hypocrite and make a mockery out of my words when I find myself intentionally making a bee line for honeys whose dress sense doesn’t align with the will of God.

now theres nothing wrong with wearing an outfit that reveals a womans cleavage or even if she exposes her midriff but if she is pictured wearing nothing but body paint clearly she has to cover up more of her body to avoid being exploited and treated as a sex object.

if a woman chooses not to wear a bra that’s her business but if this is a road she decides to take she will find it hard to avoid the stares of guys who watch her bouncing and wobbling all over the place like jelly on a plate.

I wish women would tell me what I did or said that caused them to be upset with me and drift away from my life rather than blocking me on social media and disappearing faster than a drop of milk evaporating on a summer struck pavement.

I will never learn from my mistakes unless people tell me what they are.

perhaps I can help others to avoid going down the same road as me by suggesting possible alternative routes for brothers who find themselves in the same situation as im in right now.

if a woman calls you brother or mate or bud or homie it probably means that youre in the bro zone or friend zone bruh.

if you have a chance for romance with her she will probably not try to qualify the relationship from the get go by pigeonholing you in sibling like terms whenever you come at her with words of tender romantic endearment.

there are some women who will tolerate a little bit of flirtatious talk in your interactions with them but others will be fearful angry and disgusted the second your dialogue takes what she would consider to be a turn for the worse cos she just wants you to play some kind of daddy or brother role in her life and you want to smooch and tie the knot within seconds of meeting her eyeballs.

every woman is different so its impossible to tell if the woman you are chilling with is gonna be receptive to changing your relationship status from buddies to something more permanent and familial.

generally it is a good idea to do the opposite of what I did and wait until you have gone on at least one date or until you have spent lots of time together at varying social occasions before you request that she does you the courtesy of giving you a ride to an event that doesn’t include the caveat of other buds coming along for the ride so you don’t look like you are wanting to get up close and personal with her.

there are some women who are so uptight if you send them more than one direct message without them replying they will consider it a personal attack and start making complaints about harassment.

because of some bad eggs making life horrible for women the women of this world have in many quarters developed an over sensitivity and hyper vigilance regarding their personal safety and security in the cyber world.

it is hard for me not to use the imagery of females as a method to escape from the pain and boredom that life often brings in my direction.

with Gods help I can break those bad habits and rekindle enthusiasm for the things of God in me.

in truth one of the things I loved the most about my ex bud c j wasn’t the fact that she had a gorgeous physique but also it was her deep love for God and the way we used to talk for hours about the meaning of life and discuss all the questions that popped up in our heads over her two decades and my three plus during church services and when we would be interacting with our folks and loved ones who taught us about spirituality and how to survive in this world.

I still believe in the truth that its better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

even though id give all the money I had to get c j back in my life at least I know she was once a part of it even if she didn’t play the role I wanted her to play which is to be my wife .

it didn’t help that she lived on the other side of the world and still does.

I wish I knew that she was spiritually safe and still hungering after the things of the Lord and not womens bodies .

I was too strict on her.

I tried to push her to give up swearing and horror movies before she was ready.

she didn’t swear much but she would share posts by others with swearing in them.

that’s not a deal breaker for me but I do believe it is best to avoid words that cause us and others around us to stumble.

I treat swear words the same way I do the n word and other words designed to encourage the proliferation of racist concepts.

I don’t mind if someone calls me a cracker but if they add dumb in front of it or call me a redneck I have to wonder if their heart is in Gods camp or the devils.

to piggyback off the wisdom of my bud ariel who does the exquisite blogs and podcasts on kaleoscope.org/ I wholeheartedly agree with the sentiments she and keisha ( of bible thinking woman fame) espouse about how Stephen curry’s wife is wrong to call other women who are jealous of her the devil.

when we express jealousy towards others we are not the devil we are just pawns of the devil.

even at our worst as long as we are breathing we have hope for redemption of our mortal souls that the devil will never possess cos he got arrogant and tried to kick God out of heaven and steal HIs throne .

I felt sorry for ariel’s daughter amriel who got negative pushback from ladies at church who she dances with cos she chooses to be modest and cover up her baby making body parts.

its a sick sad world we live in where a Christian woman is called a lesbian by other so called fake Christian wolf like women just cos she is comfortable in her own skin and doesn’t feel the need to smear her face with make up and polish her nails and toes but loves the way God made her enough not to see the need for any surgical or cosmetic alterations whatsoever be they temporal or permanent ones that require a hefty fee .

if you want to get breast enlargements or wear fake nails or hair extensions it doesn’t mean you love Jesus any less.

I know a woman who loves the Lord who is a rapper and singer who is very passionate about her pursuit of holiness who advocates for not just having sex with any man who asks for it but saving her body for the right one to come along who will appreciate the whole of her being and not just her physical beauty.

I know there are strippers and possibly prostitutes who go to church and the wealth of the wicked can be used to fund the kingdom of God but I still don’t think its right to be involved in those industries cos stripping encourages a man to think lustful thoughts about a woman and obviously prostitution is wrong because God forbids sex before marriage to just one woman .

it saddened my heart to see cardi b sing about being a lipstick lesbian on her song with rita ora.

I am not saying this to throw shade on cardi.

please don’t hear me wrong.

I appreciate what she is doing raising awareness of the abundance of metal detectors present at schools with a majority of African American students and the telling minimal amount of the same machines present in schools with mostly European American students .

I had my reservations when she thanked her Lord and saviour Jesus Christ for bringing her millions of dollars on the charts thanks to her collaboration with the lead singer of maroon five adam levine.

like the trackstarz team I was proud of the attention she is giving to Christianity but it brings tears to my eyes to see she is sliding backwards instead of moving forwards.

I know there are contractual obligations and back room deals in the hip hop industry.

I know there is a big push to promote a homosexual agenda and lots of pressure that gets put on artists to capitulate to devilish desires.

recently curt kennedy schooled me through his podcast cross examined on how the term player first entered the hip hop lexicon through rappers in the south of the u . s who were known for promoting a yearly celebration of the exploitation of women by pimps who solicit money for a womans body being used like a can of coke on the streets.

this is why I will never let it slide again when someone jokes about me being a player.

its more than just being flirtatious and unfaithful to the woman you love .

later on Christopher Wallace came out with player hater which is a dismissal of all who oppose his way of life.

some people call pimps hustlers.

the important connection curt made was that if you can get people to think that any criticism of your way of life is hatred then its easy to smuggle in concepts of sexual promiscuity and perversion being perceived as ok by the masses cos they have been taught to believe the lie that to question the way somebody behaves is synonymous with animosity.

I was pleased to see that tumblr are not going the way of Instagram and facebook in their hypocrisy.

Instagram and facebook have claimed to crack down on pornography but soft and hardcore porn are still clearly visible on their sites.

this is not something I actively hunt for but its shoved in my face every time I go online.

now I do have a policy of adding practically anyone who requests to be my friend and some of the things they love and participate in are opposed to the lifestyle of a God fearing believer .

even in those whose hearts appear to be the most darkened to the gospel however I can see evidence of God working and attempting to open their eyes to the truth.

it is true what my homie Christian rapper J Cs lil bro says – Christianity is getting more popular in the wider culture.

you see people who practise meditation and who are involved in Chinese medicine and acupuncture and chakras quoting philippians 4:13 .

im not saying these people are saved or brothers and sisters in Christ but its true what ecclesiastics says that God has hidden eternity in the hearts of man and womankind.

when people see war and poverty and injustice in the world when they see natural disaster and are forced to endure suffering or watch their families suffer it can either push them into the arms of Christ or drive them further away from HIm.

we who grow up in the church shrug our shoulders and say what choice do we have? we have no recourse but to trust God.

every heart beat, every breath of air in our lungs , every wave of activity in our brains comes from HIm.

there is no better explanation of the marvel of our complex world full of majestic rivers and waterfalls and splendid mountains and a myriad of birds in every colour of the rainbow than to say this must be the work of an intelligent designer.

now some want to call that designer a force or a source and He is a force to be reckoned with and He is the source of all wisdom but its not good enough to just call HIm a force or a source cos you cant have a personal intimate relationship with a force or a source.

the devil wants us to have a cold distant connection to God to only see HIm as designer but not interventionist God but God wants us to reach out to HIm . He wants to share HIs heart with us. He is always trying to whisper HIs love to us in the beauty of the flowers in the jumping of the fishes in the stillness and the frenzy of the waves in the spectacle of a new born baby or even the widow weeping by her husbands headstone the evidence for Him is clearly there. He is the comforting hands we can’t see wrapped around the widows waist helping her to move forward. He is the verses of scripture leading her to light and fullness of life and brighter tomorrows. He is the one tugging on the hearts of her neighbours to be generous to her and bring her chicken soup and make sure she gets plenty of visitors so she doesn’t cut her throat or allow herself to be dragged beneath the sea of depression .

right now my folks are praying over me in Holy Spirit language in the next room.

my dad disagrees with me that there is no biblical evidence proving that mary of Bethany was the same woman who prepared Jesus spiritually for burial with her tears and expensive perfume.

perhaps I might have been like judas asking why the money wasn’t spent on poor people though I hope I wouldn’t be asking for the same reasons he did which was because he loved to stick the money intended for the poor people in his own back pocket.

I know God is weeping for the poor doctors in Canada right now who are forced to kill babies in the womb or just outside of it or risk losing their jobs for being conscientious objectors.

its crazy that Vermont has a republican who believes in killing babies inside their mother sitting in a position of authority.

just like God saved the Israelite babies by causing the shrewd Egyptian nursemaids to rescue the little ones from the chopping block He can intervene in the lives of the citizens of Vermont and  Canada.

I praise the Lord for the laws being passed in Alabama and Georgia that fight to preserve the lives of unborn children and prosecute those who tamper with a womans womb and offspring by attempting to pervert the natural course of gestation and subvert her reproductive cycle.

its interesting that women in old testament times who were taken captive by Israeli soldiers had to have their heads shaved if they were chosen to play the role of wife.

I pray God will stop public money being used in America and Australia to fund guys dressed as women reading books to young children in public libraries.

the last I heard public libraries in America had bibles pulled from their shelves.

I pray God reverses this tragic event and comedy of errors.

its interesting that Russia and America both prevented praying in schools but the Russian children chose to fight and pray anyway so they  couldn’t stop them whereas the American children stopped praying inside the building but now pray at the American flagpole on a yearly basis which is better than nothing but the best resolution to this conflict would be to choose fearlessness over cowardice.

it is true that under the Obama administration students were locked up for praying on the steps of the Washington monument.

I admire the courage of conviction in the hearts of these young people that never say die to the dream of a God fearing America.

the spill over and ripple effects of what happens in America immediately impact the rest of the world.

I pray everybody has a happy memorial day and that we would live in a world where nobody ever has to kill somebody else in order to protect their country from terrorist attack or invasion from foreign armies or civil unrest.

I do not know much about mohdi’s life but I pray that he will be turned from a man with a radical hindu agenda which makes life difficult for Christians to a man who is willing to lay down his life for the freedom of religion enshrined in his constitution to be upheld by every inhabitant in his nation as well as being an advocate for a self governing Kashmir.

60788786_10157332648786663_4551719758055079936_n please check out http://www.alwaysbrea.com for the best quality Christian hip hop the world has ever seen as well as fantastic tee shirt and baseball cap designs from my buddy Brea. warning if you listen to her music your life will be changed forever ❤