deflated birthday balloon doesnt reflect the enthusiasm it still inspires in my blessed heart <3 :)

See the source image

when you insult me i choose to be silent

at first

then i find fury rising up in me


if id addressed your rudeness would i still be booming after getting ticked to the same degree

God only knows the cause of my hostility

i have no ability to obtain deliverance

from my affliction prior to death sans in temporal intervals

thats when i ride the waves of joy filled oceans

plunged into times mist

copyright minus the cynic 2021 ❤ xoxoxo

lies lions lyres lymph nodes

who are we if we cannot breathe in peace

what is our lives if we are ruled by fear

so much that we never permit our minds to be unchained

by what our eyes lie to us is fiction or those who wish to mask them perpetually to the truth


check out zewe lanji music on youtube if you want to hear the owner of this fantastic face

revealing my wrestling and reveling in my glorious savior <3 xo

its the downtime that gets to me

im my weakest when im bored

or when my fingers arent busy

when im not next to a decent read

thats when i cave easily

thats when i need to fight hard for my soul

thats when i need to push deep into the river of Christ consciousness and cultivate HIs essence and wisdom within my heart

today was a good day cos none of my screams came from a place of conscious resentment

some days thats the best i can hope for

some days i dont scream at all

imagine your spirit was separated from your body and your spirit was swimming in a lake of fire and you could feel cords connected to it tugging at your body and you cant explain to the world why you are acting like youre tortured cos they cAnt see your spirit only your body

thats my life

pretty much constantly

this is why i have a love hate relationship with sleep

i hate being unproductive but i love transporting my mind from a place where im conscious of my suffering to a realm where all is bliss

thats why i cant wait to die and be with Jesus

i know im not capable of mentally transporting myself elsewhere

its only Christ that enables me to dream or see my fantasies become reality

its a rare ruby of a woman that can tolerate my weirdness or freakishness

ive gotta do a better job of supporting my homies

im way behind with all the podcasts i love to listen to

i cant control what comes out of my mouth in entirety but i can control how much time i spend on my computer and whether or not i use my time on it to make a loud noise or be just like a pleasant humming in my folks background

i hate gardening

i hate cooking

im more willing to cook than garden

cooking is easier even if the end result of making a meal is over within an hour of its composition

dad wants me to garden

mum wants me to cook

i just want to die and be with Jesus

i want to be married with children

i hope i can make another album before i die

women dont need make up to look beautiful

they dont need to bleach their skin cut their hair let it grow curl it straighten it dye it or do anything to it to gain appreciation for it  even if its full of lice or dandruff

guys will find beauty in a woman regardless of if she spends a truckload of cash on her outfit or if she just picked it up off the rack in a thrift store

its important for guys to build womens self esteem by focusing on their characters and personalities more than we zero in on their physical assets

if the only thing you can think of to appreciate in a woman is her physical beauty or the fact shes keeping your belly full and your butt in clean jocks somethings wrong with your vision bruh

we need to see the woman in our lives with the eyes of Christ .

we need to see the fierce warrior in her as well as the gentle princess .

sometimes she will be our rescuer sometimes she will need rescuing .

be open to the wisdom in her and dont be afraid to show her your tears .

always stand up for her regardless of if it costs you your rep

never let your tongue be the whip that lashes her but always the oil that soothes her sores and encourages her to embrace heavens agenda over the sinister administer of selfishness



source of jubilation incessant

in the middle of the aries cluster of stars

one day in history standing out above all others

we who look back can see the alignment of this glittery gathering with jupiter

combined with a lunar eclipse

this was the glowing sight followed by wise astrologers

seeking the king destined to bring salvation to mankind

all who find HIm residing in their hearts

will experience the transformation of their spirits eyes once blind gaining second sight


woke up smiling

pull those worms out of my brain

the ones that drive me barmy

theres an army of them

fill my soul with joy unrestrained

i refute the liars who say my jubilation reeks of disdain

cos i know the one who snaps chains around hearts

who gives me a freedom and peace that never departs

no matter how life smarts

theres a world beyond my ruins and wounds

nows the time to rebuild and heal each others bruised souls

See the source image

byroad broadcasts

im petrified of pushing the wrong buttons

dressing lambs like mutton in your mind

stay sanctified

disregard the scourgings snare tempting your walk to cease , hampering your spirits effectiveness

would you bleed for love or intercede for those who feed upon hate consumed by its dark swallowing energy , forbidding sanctuary







when i fail to recognize your voice cos it seems the longest time since ive bothered to listen

i place my feet in the teeth of a hungry dragon

tis only when you intend to use me to pull souls from his jaws i should initiate nearness to those hideous fangs

amidst the clang of cries for justice let our love for you ring loud

standing tall and proud boasting of how you accomplished forgiveness for us with bloodshed

some mothers do have them ( kids who feel more loving towards them than resentful )


joshuas original name was hoshea which means salvation .

moses gave him the new name joshua which means Jehovah is generous or Jehovah saves .

you could say that in getting this new name God was showing joshua the explanation for how His salvation manifests itself both in our daily lives and specifically for that time in the life of joshua .

God called him to be a leader of his people .

even after God was done talking with moses when joshua was his protegee he used to stay in the tent where moses met with God and listen to HIm speak or just soak up HIs glorious presence .

perhaps moses was too keen to move on and spread Gods messages instead of lingering in HIs presence .

perhaps joshua didnt need to stay as long as he did or maybe he needed to stay for longer cos he was still a greenhorn and still learning the ways of God .

he wasnt yet in a place where he was ready to lead his people .

Gods generosity was revealed to joshua in the way He provided for HIs people when they were wandering around in the desert for forty years .

He protected them from enemies guided them with holy light and preserved their health with food from heaven .

it was my previous understanding that the israelites wandered round in circles for forty years straight but this wasnt exactly true .

after wandering around for thirty eight years a sufficient number of soldiers had died from the generation that had brought a curse upon themselves and prevented themselves from entering into the land of milk and honey .

it was necessary for these soldiers to die both so that the israelites wouldnt be tempted to fight the moabites and the descendants of esau because it was Gods plan that they should run the lands they inhabited and also so that when they did have to face conflict with kings who would not be generous spirited enough to let them pass through their land without causing them harm even after they offered them money they would know that it wasnt their strength that brought them victory but solely the power of God .

its possible that God got maD AT david for taking a census for counting the number of levites .

God wasnt angry with moses when he numbered the amount of people under his tutelage .

the difference between these two head counts was moses left out the priests .

it is interesting that moses’s name means out of the water .

although he wasnt fully immersed in a sense he was being baptized in the river nile .

today in church pastor nina elmendorp taught us about his mother jochebed .

you can find this story in the first chapter of exodus .

later in numbers we read about the brave daughters of zelophehad who risked punishment by approaching moses with a request to change the law on their behalf cos their dad was born without sons so if they got married under the old law their inheritance would pass onto another tribe as there were no men unattached to their family who could help them pass on the family name .

moses permitted them to marry their nephews .

they were not allowed to be married off to any other tribe and God made it a law that in future if the situation occurred where a man has only daughters and no sons his daughters will be forbidden to be married off into another tribe .

one of these daughters was named noah .

its interesting that God chose two noahs one a male and another a female to bring deliverance and to work out a major problem that would affect the futures of those around them .

if you are in london you may receive benefit from reaching out to the good people who work at the coptic city mission .

an old man was wandering the streets .

he had a dog and not much else .

the coptic christians took him in and gave him colouring pencils and paper.

they encouraged him to use his art and fed his belly .

previously he thought he wouldnt amount to anything cos he was sure there was nothing he was capable of achieving .

he had experienced rejection before .

he knew what it was like to feel pain but now he is able to taste the joy of the Lord .

it touched his heart that while many christians talk about showing love these coptic christians came to his aid and demonstrated practically that they care through their actions .

we need to show love to God both through our words and our actions .

i learned today from songs of praise that coptic means egyptian .

i got to see some beautiful iconography that inspired my soul .

what spoke to me more than the images themselves lovely though they were was the explanation given by the artist that the halos in his paintings representing the fire of the Holy Spirit resting on people .

it is only because of God that anyone is ever able to see God or goodness in us .

God is our creator and if we believe in HIm and HIs son dwells in our hearts He is also our father in heaven .

some erroneously believe we are all Gods children but this isnt true because all of us have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God .

we are born into sin which makes us satans children which is why we have to ask God for forgiveness for our sins and receive our adoption papers into HIs kingdom by being washed in the soul cleansing crimson tide of HIs precious blood .

i learned that the coptic egyptian church chooses their popes by engaging in a month long decision making process whittling down prospective leaders until they get down to two likely candidates .

when the moment of truth arrives a little child is blindfolded and they pick a name which is to be the chosen leader .

the orthodox church has one branch known as the oriental church .

there is an orthodox church in hertfordshire .

the orthodox church was founded when Jesus’s disciple mark hopped in his boat and sailed upon the ocean blue to teach the coptics about Jesus .

today our campus pastor helen elder spoke about the valley of elah in her communion message .

she told us how the stones were shaped by the rain and the movement of the water rippling along the stream as it rushed over their surface .

often tools are shaped by human hands but the tools that david used to defeat goliath were shaped solely by the hands of God .

it is often at our most humble and when we are the most dependent on God that He can use us in the most tremendous way .

God guided davids stone to kill a lion and a bear .

he came into the battle against goliath with complete confidence that he would win .

meanwhile his elder brothers were shaking in their boots .

their knees were knocking together in terror at the prospects of encountering their mighty foe .

a facetious observer might conclude that the cheese david brought to the battlefield had magic powers  which enabled him to beat the enemy but we never hear of david eating the cheese .

for all we know the cheese could have had the opposite affect .

it might have made him slow and sluggish.

we know dairy products are good for those who have problems sleeping .

the heavy armor king saul provided for david was too cumbersome to assist his movement yet alone to destroy his peoples nemesis .

because david was stripped of nothing but the bare essentials he had no choice but to rely on God cos He know it was only the power of God that could aim a single stone straight into the forehead of his enemy not his skill alone .

none of us can do anything without Gods help .

i just found out that the jazz artist katie melua has a greek background .

i heard her singing a beautiful song about Jesus saving us on songs of praise .

i know i shouldnt be fearful of going back to church and encountering people i know will want to give me hard vice like handshakes or who might touch my shoulders and call me handsome when i dont appreciate their words .

i do suspect them of wrongdoing but i have no proof .

God tells me to walk in love and face the giant like opponents i may encounter in my life.

often i can be ruled by fear instead of by faith .

the israelites promised moses they wouldnt get involved in idol worship once theyd crossed over the jordan but they were telling porky pies or they found themselves unable to deliver on their good intentions .

i doubt i would do any better than them if i was in their sandals .

i certainly would shy away from all the bloody battles they fought .

i prefer to fight with my mouth rather than my fists .

if God wanted to He could have gotten the angels to fight all their battles for them but He chose to use them to display HIs glory .

He is gracious in the way He allows us to be used by HIm when He has no actual need for us.

we are the ones in constant need of HIm .

we must worship HIm in order to avoid a future in chains in the abode of eternal punishment .

its sad that the israelis got carried away prisoner to foreign nations and became their slaves .

praise God that despite the genocide the jews have faced and despite the disobedience of some of them God still saw fit to permit them to return to the land He chose for them to display HIs creative power in the realm of cultivation prosperity and technological advancement .

its Gods mercy being evidenced to us in the way He writes HIs law to allow for cities to be built where a man can run for safety if he has accidentally killed someone with a wooden or metal tool or caused them to leave this world in some other way without meaning to be the trigger for it .

you could understand why any family would be baying for the blood of an individual who had robbed them of a husband a father an uncle a cousin a nephew or a grandson .

it would have been easy for the tribes that already won territory before the crossing of the jordan to just say forget you guys we have our land why would we want to help you fight your battles but they selflessly chose to put their plans for territorial expansion on ice while they assisted their brothers and sisters in killing the occupants of the lands they were to dwell in before they returned to claim their brand new homes .

there are days when we walk with our feet and others where we simply allow our tongues to grow feet and go on journeys in our minds taking others on a trip with us with our stories and allow our ears to sprout little legs when they share their hearts and adventures with us through the recollection of their precious memories which become like pearls stored in the safe of our hearts .

i love the humor of the egyptian midwives who said the hebrew babies were born too fast for them to kill them .

i thank God that baby murdering techniques had not developed in those days to its current advancement to speedy butchering which does no less damage to the woman undergoing the procedure that results in the murder of an innocent than it did in the past there is just more sterilization involved and double speak about the sanctity of life .

we always have to convince our friend irene to eat more cakes than shes willing to swallow when she comes over .

there is no way we will ever persuade her to partake of mothers candy melon ( sometimes called rockmelon ) .

she is still enjoying her teabags even though she left them at our place cos she doesnt like them as much as we do .

tea helps us sleep .

you may find assistance from the ones twinings produce specifically for the purpose of assisting a speedy route to slumber for those who imbibe in it .

can you imagine being in JOshua’s shoes and having an encounter with the preincarnate Christ ?

that will never be something we experience cos He will always b post incarnate for us.

this is something my bud etienne faced .

he used to be a gangster living on the streets of south africa til God showed up and completely altered his life .

today brian houston was talking about the awkward greetings he has had with people in the past .

he had never seen his durban campus pastor before .

when he went to greet her he tried to kiss her on the cheek and ended up spitting on her.

i only ever deliberately spat on someone once in my life after they gave me an arm burn by twisting their fingers around my arm .

i still regret it to this day .

it was done by an otherwise friendly dude who is double jointed and unexpectedly turned out to be the guy who didnt marry his best friend who joined nuptials with somebody else .

she said she would never be an accountant guess who joined their dads business after leaving school ?

its funny the way life twists and turns sometimes in ways we dont anticipate and in manners in which we do.

i had trouble explaining youth with a mission to them in ways that didnt sound like a cult.

when the guy who twisted my arm was at school he had a bet going with the accountants daughter .

she was going to see how long she could survive without chocolate and he was trying to avoid his slave master coca cola .

i think she caved within a week .

he was tall and she was short.

both he and the man she married had freckles but he was more of a ginger ninja .

he made up this imaginary character named smee .

i dont know if he had heard of the character in peter pan named smee who worked on a pirate ship .

a poor chinese boy at school was teased mercilessly for his pronunciation of certain words.

some dastardly fellows in my grade forced him to say phrases that would cause him to swear unwittingly.

i knew a youth pastor and sports chaplain who found humour in the fact some samoans swore and asked them to teach him all the cusswords they could think of .

this is a guy who told me off when i fell under the power of God and lay on the carpet in the middle of church when God pinned me to the floor .

some people shouldnt be pastors.

they are better off taking jobs which dont involve any opportunity to damage young minds or induce perversion within them .

his wife ran a baby products company .

they produced tiny headgear for little ones.

he had a friend from germany who put him to shame with his passion for God.

when they went through the drive through together he offloaded a whole bunch of information about Jesus in pamphlet form on the people who cooked their burgers for them.

i was hoping to meet this passionate young pastor this year but God chose not to give me the opportunity  either cos He faced satanic opposition to the passion play in oberammagau going ahead or He just wanted me at home with my folks so i could reach a place in my spirit where i no longer found it necessary to scream whenever i feel frustrated .

i never got to take part in the challenge at church to eat a hot chili burger .

i love my chipotle sauce .

i recommend levi roots reggae reggae sauce .

you can get a fruity habanero version or one that is like swallowing pure fire like a saucy version of vindaloo curry compacted into a bottle .

i regret not taking the opportunity to buy jerk chicken sauce from local producers when i had the chance .

sadly my favorite coffee shop now charges more than two dollars a cup for a fresh cream and ice cream filled ice coffee but its worth paying a few dollars more for quality service and a bright beaming smile from cody .

i just found out recently she lives in petrie .

i always used to enjoy the stamp and coin collection stall at their markets as well as their ginger beer and those found at the dayboro markets .

some say it will be hard for the united kingdom to return back to the way it used to be.

i hope this isnt the case also for the land down under .

people say life will be difficult but their naysaying is no match for the side effects of a praying heart determined to focus on God and put chiefly HIm then others above self .

God doesnt need our obedience to work a miracle or boost the economy but He does require it for our entrance into heaven .

its easy to assume people are rude if we dont take the time to find out what they have experienced in life.

some people have difficulty relating to others cos every time they offer their heart to someone they get treated like garbage or the only people who want to give their heart to them belong to somebody else so in truth they were never prepared to be committed to them they only wanted to use and abuse them.

there are some who see in another the best possible future but they are too hesitant about what they are leaving behind to ever take the plunge and experience that glorious life awaiting them on the other side of their decision to leap before looking .

many an area of the world has been left unexplored because of fear .

there are still tribes and individuals in civilized countries like kenya and south sudan which havent yet encountered the gospel who are waiting for you to be the face and brave heart that introduces them to Jesus .

seize the wonder of each moment and allow it to make your jaws drop in amazement at our mysterious and seriously stupendous God .


xo ❤

if you have no other reason to be grateful remember God just gave you one more breath


when the name i called you bears absolutely no resemblance to your actual factual one it makes perfect sense that i will never be considered your forever love

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today i was reading numbers 24 .

verses 17 and 18 seem to speak to me of Christs victory over satan .

it talks about a star coming out of jacob and a sceptre rising out of israel .

both this star and sceptre are said to crush the forehead of moab and break down the sons of sheth .

verse 18 speaks of one from jacob exercising dominion and destroying the survivors of cities

when scripture talks of Jesus destroying it means He permits destruction not that He enacts it .

we know that in the end Christ shall reign on the earth and He shall have victory over all the evil forces and individuals that come against HIm and attempt to exalt themselves above them.

those who humble themselves will be exalted and those who exalt themselves will be humbled .

i want to speak to you about a humbling experience i have had .

please dont make the same mistake i did.

when you love a woman please dont criticize her in public.

also think twice before  you slag her off in private .

in expressing critical thoughts we must be careful not to condemn and dismiss all potential for redemption in others.

there are hills worth dying on and battles worth fighting and others causes which dont benefit anyone by getting involved in them .

i got a response to a friend request i sent to a woman who had blocked me on social media .

her reply was gracious to a certain degree but it also contained an unwillingness to make true peace .

if we only love with conditions or strings attached to our affection we cannot  truly say we are exercising the holy kind of tenderness or loving in the truest essence of what love is .

i understand fully her reasons for not wanting to have anything to do with me and for only being civil and polite and attempting to control me by demanding my interactions with her be limited to offline ones only but as a fellow believer in Jesus she is supposed to walk in forgiveness just as Christ did when He subjected HIs arms and feet to be nailed to a beam for the sake of our redemption .

i am sure most of you wouldnt bother to hold their head in a fixed position to turn it in one direction and then force yourself not to move it but if you are considering doing so be warned it will cause your throat to be damaged so that you will only be able to swallow liquids not solids cos there will only be a tiny opening left in your throat as a result .

i may not agree with the way a woman is interpreting a song but i need to learn to keep my lips zipped and lock my opinion up behind them because it does neither of us any good for me to potentially make her feel horrible simply for choosing to show love to an artist by paying homage to them via what she recognizes as being the only form of a song she knows when she is unfamiliar with the original version and how it has been altered over time .

changes arent always bad but if you take away from a songs original meaning or dont express the entirety of the songs message just because you think its controversial and its controversy doesnt break the heart of God through blasphemy or inappropriate language then its erroneous thinking to mutate what never needed altering .

often i find myself being attacked by armies of wickedness when im in a low place in my spirit .

the pleasure the devil offers me ostensibly to take away my horrible feelings only cause me to feel worse cos i know i have upset my savior and creator with my sinful attitudes and compromising stances .

i go from a place where i dont want to have anything to do with any picture that suggests a hint of cleavage or the revelation of thighs to just mindlessly hearting pictures i know wreak havoc to my soul .

i dont want to cause my father to stumble by the pictures he catches me looking at on my computer when he walks behind me on his way to pick up some food off the kitchen counter .

he was eating raspberries last night when a most disgusting sight appeared before his eyes.

a black feather lay spreadeagled across his berries .

the offending berries were immediately rejected by my father which i then proceeded to eat .

i figured if i pray over my food i dont need to worry about it making me sick .

if i die i go to heaven so it doesnt matter if i get sick anyway .

just lately ive been going for walks with at least one member of my family every day.

i praise God for friends who have been used by God to keep me on the straight and narrow path .

i know if i had been paying attention to their messages i might not have stuck myself in a spiritual pickle this morning .

i know that christians shouldnt talk about any body parts that extend below  the neck and in the case of those that are above the neck they should be cautious to make sure that they do not discuss the tangling of one tongue around another unless they are having discussions with their spouse or prospective fiance and such a topic is not the dominating trajectory of almost every conversation you have with them.

i know if i spend too much time looking at softcore pornography it makes it difficult for me to engage with women and see them as characters and personalities instead of sex objects .

i have never understood why some women like men pretending to choke them or why they like being dominated whipped spanked and prevented from moving by them .

i dont get why any guy would find this attractive either .

i know i should have been sensible and avoided talking to my friend about the meaninglessness of saying you have regards for someone when you want to pretend they dont exist or prevent them from contacting you every time you turn on the computer .

its stupid to block the ability of potentially wonderful friends from adding you and knowing when you are available to chill with them online simply because of one klutz who you were once fond of in the most platonic of senses .

we dont know when we might be preventing God from using the connections in our lives for HIs glory because of our stubbornness .

im amazed at how some people think they are in a good place with God when they have hearts that are full of bitterness .

you cant say you love God if you hate your president sultan emir king queen or prime minister .

you  cant say you love God if you hate people of a particular ethnicity or those who identify themselves with a sexual preference that He disapproves of .

the sneaky thing about sin is the more we indulge in it the easier it becomes to make excuses for it .

those sins we once thought we would never condone in others suddenly become ones we consider looking the other way about cos we know that we ourselves have fallen short of the glory of God and we are so consumed by the fire of our own despicableness that we fail to see how God is able to use us in the midst of our struggle and how despite our mess He still wants to use us to point others in the right direction .

i received a compliment on my knowledge of religion .

as much as i appreciate that kind phrase i know i have so much to learn and so far to go before i am a true reflection of who God made me to be and before i am genuinely living out HIs destiny for my life in as authentic a way as possible .

some will go from the cradle to the grave believing all religions are the same .

even if we have told these people a million times before that Jesus is the only way to heaven we still need to say it a million more times because we never know when the truth will trickle through from their heads and drop in their hearts and they will awaken to the epiphany that Jesus is Lord and He is our only hope .

for some people the biggest challenge is believing God is real .

some may deny God is real but beneath the surface they know what they say isnt true and He most definitely is.

some of them have daddy or mummy issues .

the way we are treated by our fathers and mothers  reflects the way we perceive God .

it can be said that we choose partners that are similar to our parents whether we intend to or not .

we may reject the church as an institution but we still believe in Jesus Christ .

we must be careful both in rejecting Jesus cos of the sins of HIs body the church and in choosing the equally ridiculous and misguided path some follow of rejecting the church but maintaining intimacy with the head of her body Christ .

as christians we are all threaded together in the body of Christ .

if one part of the body is sick the whole of the body is sick .

we all suffer together and we all rejoice together .

i pray for those churches and religious para church institutions in the united states of america that are under fire from atheists right now who are trying to use this global covid situation to turn the world against believers in Jesus .

some are trying to use the fact that hillsong was criminally negligent and somehow involved in the events which occurred on the cruise ship ruby princess where people spread sickness to turn eyes of animosity towards the church .

these same people would be the first to say that the salvation army or red cross or the blue nurses or rosies street teams are doing amazing things or the red frog people supplied by allens lollies are champions who deserve to be given their weight in gold .

some people only attack the church cos God is speaking to them through the sermons and songs and dances and art of the church and through its charitable donations its schools the hospitals it founded and the universities it formed and working HIs conviction on their hearts .

the devils that plague them are urging them to resist this conviction and take part in open warfare against it .

i often thought the devil was trying to break my neck when he causes my head to twist violently in one direction or another .

we are only a threat to the enemy if we engage in relentless opposition against him .

it is hard to understand the will of God .

my bud missy was talking to me about how sometimes God is obvious in the way He reveals HImself and His truth to us .

quite often we ignore what is plain as day and the noses stuck to our faces .

praise God vice president mike pence is doing his part to help out the churches in virginia .

virgina has faced lots of suffering after they dealt with a massacre at virginia tech .

i have a bud who studied there .

some massacres could have been prevented if those who committed them were treated in a more loving way .

one guy shot up people at a youth with a mission base after he asked for a bed for the night and he refused .

i am not saying his actions were justifiable just that there is a root behind every deplorable action .

sometimes there are things we can do to prevent evil from occurring .

perhaps if we try to be a little more understanding  towards people they wont turn out to be so monstrous .

in the case of the columbine high school massacre there were christians cassie and rachel who reached out and showed love to the two boys who were fans of bowling and marilyn manson .

it wasnt the christians that were rejecting them but the devil compelled them to worship him by taking their hatred which they felt towards others out on the christians .

its interesting that they chose to target an african american as well .

perhaps this dude was the subject of their aggression because of all the african americans and those of african or caribbean or west indian ancestry out there who self identify as christian who comprise the majority of the worlds christian population .

it is wonderful to see how in developing countries where people have next to nothing there can often be found a great love for Christ .

this naturally is made evident in warm hearted smiles and hospitable behaviour towards strangers and even in the forgiveness towards enemies displayed by christians in nigeria after many christians were killed by muslims .

a vast amount of people in europe are being killed for their faith in Christ .

often the facts dont  get reported because of the medias unwillingness to say anything negative about muslims and also because there is prejudice that exists against muslims so sometimes a christian might be killed by an anarchist and sometimes they might be killed by a muslim and often the facts dont get shared because someone might be prejudiced for or against muslims or anarchists or atheists who want to destroy the social order and replace it with a communist state or some hodge podge political creation of their own demented minds .

i thought the only book that hindus wrote was the mahabharata but apparently vishnu has a book dedicated to his demonic self too as well as the other demons they worship deliberately pretending they are gods or doing so out of ignorance .

numbers tells me that there is punishment by God for sinning out of ignorance that is why i must pray to cover those sins which i commit without knowing im committing them as well as the ones i know full well i have participated in .

often i criticize others for cussing or substitute swearing .

its better to use a substitute word instead of a swear word but penn and teller are right in standing in agreement with my friend sandy when she said that to say a substitute word for a swear has the same heart intent as if you  say it out loud .

its better to keep that word shut up in your head where no human eye can see it and where no ears can snatch it and incorporate it into their own vocal or written output or psychic realm .

its more important for christians to stay away from soft or hardcore pornography or violent horrific movies full of monstrous villains which give glory to the devil than it is for them to pay attention to whether their stomachs are as big as a mansion or as small as a matchbox .

it is our spiritual condition that matters more than our physical one .

we can be morbidly obese and still be used by God to advance HIs kingdom .

He does want us to eat healthy .

diet and exercise are important but not the main thing we should be concerned about as believers .

there are christian filmmakers who have tackled horror themes and managed to bring the light out into our dark world .

some christians think its ok to swear in their movies to show context but there are ways we can express dissastisfaction or approval without taking the Lords name in vain or using dirty words .

it is a challenge for christian filmakers to express conflict in a realistic way without straying into the shadows and being absorbed by the world around us due to the urging of their contemporaries to be relevant and to maintain audience appeal .

if you talk to audience members in a cinema of any religious or so called non religious persuasion ( cos not having a religion is a religion in itself ) you will often find there is a longing within viewers for a presentation of the world that isnt dark and gloomy where suicide isnt glorified where people arent constantly being bombarded with cross dressers and homosexuals where people are loving to each other instead of hateful where people can make us laugh without showing portraying cruelty to others where every other word you hear out of somebodys mouth isnt a cuss word where mums and dads are respected instead of denigrated where husbands and wives are celebrated instead of mocked where kids are portrayed as intelligent instead of lazy and dimwitted where young couples arent always hopping in and out of bed with each other where superheroes dont nurture a secret dark side where righteousness prevails and corruption isnt displayed as a virtue for the earth to consume .

there are some in the minority who want to control what we see and hear who only want us to celebrate evil instead of speaking the truth about it but the majority of people welcome and champion the values of coexistence and desire to live in a world which is a reflection of heaven on earth .

parents these days are throwing their hands up in the air in despair .

they want  their kids teachers  to drill manners into them but some of them have never exercised restraint when planting the fruit of their lips and fingers in others eyes and ears at home or within the context of their family unit .

some want to change the world but they find themselves being more altered by their circumstances and surroundings than they are actively awakening righteousness within them .

it bothers me that cafe and restaurant owners arent seen as essential workers or that sitting and eating isnt seen as essential when doing so has a therapeutic effect on people .

many a fine book has been written in a starbucks .

careers have been begun and major financial deals made in the comfort of a cosy greasy spoon joint .

we should (as jefferson bethke does in his book to hell with the hustle ) take pity on those waitresses and waiters who are forced to subject themselves to a greater decibel level of sound on their average work hour or day than is recommended for most people to endure without protection .

its crazy how construction workers unions take more care of them in this regard than the hospitality industry does .

some people are fighting the wrong battles .

they are more consumed with making a certain amount of dollars or pounds per hour than they are about the emotional welfare or health implications of their work environment .

i do not believe in tipping and will never do so by choice until the day i die but i will gladly give presents to just about anyone .

i might be more reluctant to do so if someone slaps my mother in the face or tries to exploit my family or steals my girlfriend .

a former bully bought me a sub once but i never had the opportunity to repay his kindness and reversal in nature with anything other than a smile .

he was working at one of those places that exploits poor people by taking food bought from another group that exploits the supermarket industry by taking the food they are given for free and reselling it to community groups .

some of these groups in turn call themselves charities but essentially are just food stores which sell in bulk .

others like el shaddai ( down the road from us )run by margate baptist church and located on its premises have a different kind of heart .

it warms the heart to see people volunteering to help give food to the hungry during this time of global crisis created mostly by fearmongering and pointless regulations .

soon we will be able to sit and eat in restaurants again .

it wont be long before we can return to physical church .

its hard to take church as seriously when you are not physically in church .

its tricky not to treat it like just another t v show you watch then forget about .

we should never treat God like that though .

we should never be casual in our approach to HIm .

we should always regard HIm with holiness and reverence .

we fear HIs power knowing He can permit our destruction and revel in HIs awesome creative ability which never ceases to fill our eyes with wonder .

i praise God for HIs grace to me despite my blunders .

i know i am far from a perfect christian but i continually in the process of being perfected by Christ .

every day gives me the opportunity to see with a grander view and live a brand new life

often i am consumed by worry or sinful ideas when instead my thoughts should constantly be flooded with love for my  creator and savior out of gratitude for HIs sacrifice not just when we honour HIm for HIs death on the cross once a year or when we rejoice at HIs arrival on the planet towards the years end but every day .

each morning offers fresh reasons to rejoice in the beauty and splendour of our God who is with us in every season of our soul




some who walk around with eyes wide open have them shut to what is most crucial for them to view aka the realm of the spirit

A man found himself in a place in life where he didn’t want to go to church .

Perhaps there was a point in time where he owned a bible but somewhere along the way he had gotten separated from it and he never bothered to replace it.

Even though he was battling without his sword the word of God never left him.

It was written on his heart .

After God persistently reminding him for five solid years to go to His house and fellowship with other believers he finally decided to heed the call today.

God has placed a burning desire in his heart to share His word with the world .

Has He done the same for you?

It is true that Christianity can function in isolation from other believers but it helps you be strong if you have other brothers and sisters in Christ and spiritual fathers and mothers to help you stay on the straight and narrow path and keep you from slipping up.

One sword is sharpened by iron being roughly pressed against another piece of iron .

It is never sharpened solely by itself.

What does that tell you?

If swords need each other to stay sharp then what about us as humans ?

I think we also share this need to be encouraged to feed upon the bread of life and apply His word to our daily experience .

I was convicted by God today when I missed an opportunity to demonstrate His heart .

My mother asked me to help her make a dessert treat called an apple slice .

I just told her no.

By refusing to serve her I shot in the foot a chance to show love to both my mother and Christ .

It is in doing kind deeds for others that we worship Him .

Conversely it is in choosing selfishness over selflessness that we worship the enemy .

I was bawling my eyes out over what is happening around the world with people being prevented from living their normal lives losing their jobs and wrestling with mental health issues because of covid nineteen .

I lied to my mother when she asked me why I was crying.

She asked if I was crying because of Jesus dying for our redemption .

I said that was why and as I began to say that was the reason my heart was full of love for my father in heaven and I felt like bursting in gratitude for our precious saviour and how He sacrificed Himself to make it possible for our souls to obtain freedom .

We need to focus on what we are able to do rather than what we are prevented from doing .

We need to focus on what we have been blessed with instead of focussing on what we don’t have or on what we are missing out on .

The words of blogger constance troutman otherwise known as truth and fire ( verite  et le feu in french ) brought me hope .

It was not her words per se but she reminded me of words spoken in the bible , that well known phrase that reminds us that when Jesus returns in a cloud of glory and the dead in Christ rise from their graves to meet Him in the air that people will be given away in marriage .

Currently under the rules for covid that are being applied to most of our world except for south  America and japan tell us that we are not allowed to have marriage ceremonies .

This quote by constance gave me comfort cos it reminded me that things will return to normal again and this horrible situation the world is living in right now need not be the new normal but only a temporal situation .

Often I have to fight to keep myself from speaking in a way that may not utilize cussing or blasphemy but its still considered rude cos I talk obnoxiously to dad instead of treating him with respect .

I wrestle with fear over whether my actions or words are going to have diabolical repercussions both in the present when I provoke reactions within my parents through sounds I make that are beyond my control and in a more permanent crucial sense when my rebellious heart attitude imposes danger to the future destination of my mortal soul .

I have never been the kind of person that is into big crowds or someone that likes having long discussions with most people except for a few select individuals that are dear to my heart and mean the world to me but just lately I have been craving the roars of the mob conforming to a command from onstage to jump up and down or cheer in response to their pleading lungs .

I wasn’t into hugs by people outside the circle of my family and those friends or women I have loved over the years who have endeared themselves to me through the kindness of their spirits but just lately ive been so desperate for physical demonstrations of familiarity its bordering on the ridiculous .

If you think you are doing the world a favour by being cold and unfeeling and giving people air hugs instead of physical hugs you are only lying to yourself .

Don’t give yourself pats on the back for being a hero cos you are contributing to the worlds worsening not its betterment .

The right way to think isn’t always the most popular one .

It took a small group of individuals thinking against the tide of the crowds opinion in order to make slavery or man stealing illegal in most countries .

As far as im concerned its worth it to get sick and die if you leave this world expressing love to someone rather than to leave it as one who participates in its gradual frosting over or icy state of being .