Don’t say yes to anything you know God would say no to

Just when I seem to be making significant headway I go and blow it by allowing my heart to become deeply immersed in a woman who doesn’t belong to me.

Big mistake.

I love the fact our words be they written, sung or spoken have the ability to travel where our feet couldn’t reach if we are merely utilizing the power of our natural bodies.

I wonder what a normal amount of energy is for someone my age and weight if I abided by my daily requirements of food and sleep.

They say our lifespan is improved if we attend church at least once a week.

Ideally it should show potential future employers that we are disciplined and people with a good character or moral upbringing who can be relied upon to make sound judgements.

As christians we should be the ones who prove ourselves trustworthy to look after money,  count votes honestly or run the country guided by our merciful judge who holds us accountable for everything we do and neglect to do.

When it comes to relationships i kind of live on the edge of a knife.

I’m scared about losing the one I love yet at the same time I’m curious about what else is out there relationship wise re other females both near and far from a variety of cultural backgrounds and religious persuasions.

I do know i would have less arguments about church and education and prayers over meals/ bible reading with the kids if my woman is a Christian.

I’m willing to compromise on culture though i am more interested in African or asian Polynesian or melanesian south indian or latino or native indigenous women than the European variety.

Of course i would be open to dating European ladies if I believed that’s what God wants for me but I don’t think He does.

Some may say i am superimposing my own will and personal preferences onto God’s.

They can think that if they like it doesn’t bother me.

I would prefer to be in a short distance relationship rather than a long distance one.

We don’t always plan who we fall in love with.

I do believe however that we won’t find love unless we’re actively looking for it cos our eyes won’t be open to potential candidates for a future relationship.

Animals seem to find a mate easier than us humans but they still have to impress the opposite sex , fight off rivals,  defend their territory and earn their keep just like us.

I have a friend who like kurt Cobain doesn’t want kids because not having them means sparing them from the horrors of this world.

I’m sure frances beans boyfriend is glad he changed his mind.

I’m pretty sure she was named after the murderess frances farmer.

He was an admirer of buddha and the Beatles.

His former love rival for courtneys heart billy Corgan was also once a card carrying member of the fab 4 fanclub.

I have had the police question me when I was with my fiance.

She didn’t want to hold my hand in public cos she was afraid of other people seeing her with me.

In the Solomon Islands people traditionally express their love for each other behind closed doors.

Some of the elder generation even veil themselves in front of men who aren’t their husbands just like jews and Muslims.

It’s better to love someone above than under cover.

If you have to hide your love from the rest of the world it’s reasonable to question if it really exists though it might be exciting to fool yourself you are doing something slightly illicit, kinky, naughty or outside the norm.

Love should be screamed from the rooftops and announced in newspapers and displayed in stunning cloud calligraphy.

It shouldn’t be hidden under a rock like a mouldy old peach.

When you love someone you should naturally want to tell the whole world about them .

You should proudly wear their ring on your finger like a sparkling badge of honor or round your neck if it makes it itchy.

You certainly don’t show love when you refuse to acknowledge your romantic connection to someone either online or offline.

When does a relationship come to an end. ?

Is it when 1 partner leaves the country or when 1 cheats on the other in an emotional affair or one involving more vigorous physical activity.

I am stumped.

I think through all the good times and the bad times.

I ponder all the pros and cons of continuing my relationship unabated by concerns over a far from certain unstable future with no guarantee of children, marriage or staying power.

If I had pulled the plug when she was having cold feet or accepted her initial rejection of my love i could have taken the moral high ground but instead I  was the 1 who fought to convince her that our love was worth holding onto though distance brought us tears and boredom stretched our patience even when we were physically in close proximity to each other.

It’s a problem when you know everything about someone except the crucial details of the relationships they or others gave up on apart from vague toxic hints of a shadowy masculine figure in her past who stuck a bullet through her heart.

This debacle is multiplied when your supposed well faked lack of curiosity about her past is 1 of the reasons why she claims to like you so you darent give her an excuse to hate you and dump you like yesterday’s trash bound bunloaf.

I only believe in arranged marriage when both partners are willing participants and it can be proved with a minimum of research that they weren’t coerced by their families in any way.

I do not personally believe in remarriage cos God forbids it in the bible but if both partners are burning with lust it’s an acceptable alternative to an unwanted pregnancy or indulging fleshy desires outside the sacred covenant of marital bliss.

Intimacy is so much more than prolonging sexual arousal or the essential perfunctory foreplay.

It is mostly about opening up and sharing your heart with someone.

It’s about taking the plunge and taking that huge risk that you will gash your head open on a rock submerged below the surface if you dive too deeply in love.

I believe unless you’re drowning in love struggling to swim, feeling dizzy with your head spinning out of control you’re not deep enough in love and should probably move on to greener pastures.

Sure you can love someone in their Sunday best.

Try loving them when their hair reeks of vomit or their breath stinks of stale beer or they come home ponging off some scarlet nightgowns chanel number 6.

Try loving them when they forget your birthday or anniversary or that tonight was date night or this weekend was booked for couple time not le ad infinitum business retreat or rabid squirrel survival rally.

Try loving them when they talk over the top of you, talk down to you, insult or contradict you in front of other people,  interrupt you, slam doors in your face or make your skin crawl by getting involved in despicable sexually deviant behavior.

Try loving them when they make you settle for second best after specifically requesting you to tell them what you want.

Try loving them when they force you to sign your land or house over to them or leave your home and family for another country against your will and without your parents blessing.

Try loving them when they come between you and your family and make you choose sides between the 1s who raised you and john or jenny come lately.

Try loving them when you become their punching bag when they smash dishes in your face when they break your bones and chain you to your home with threats of murder of you, your family or offspring.

Try loving them when they permanently look like theyre running in macys panda parade and long sleeves in summer is a necessity for self protection of your relationship from prying eyes not an early days avril Lavigne like oddball fashion choice.

Try loving them when every meal you cook gets thrown in your face.

Try loving them when they force themselves inside you like a fat hairy slug suffocating your body while they falsely assume your possum playing eyes are sleeping.

Try loving them when every kind word you ever say to them gets returned with a derisive disdainful snort of you’re beneath me in terms of worth contempt or angry venomous hurtful whip like heart cracking tongue lashings.

Try loving them when their only response is icy cold silence.

Try loving them when they refuse to sit next to you when they physically push you away from them when they call you a stalker for following them round at church when they falsely accuse you of worshipping them when you look at them instead of the lyrics on screen during worship.

Try loving them when it’s your fault their phone is ruined by the juice spilling out the bottle you stuck in her handbag after a lovely day out getting lost among God’s wondrous creations in the national botanic gardens.


Try loving them when you are the bad guy for defending your women’s honor against the sleazy flirtations of a liliputan train worker.

Try loving them when you get accused of racism for assuming to know someones racial identity without any conversation with them yet she can call euros wasps & it’s all gravy.






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