And when they kissed their bodies exploded in a burst of starlight

It was under the orange trumpet flowers in the botanical gardens where things took a turn for the best

She allowed him entry into her most secret parts

She swallowed him inside the chamber of her heart

She imparted life into him as his fingers explored her damp purse full of tender treasure

Dying to be nursed into a burst of soggy flames

That shot upwards piercing the clouds

Immediately upon his devious touch

This advantageous moment of least resistance

Stays with him in quiet minutes

His longing for her leaves him lagoon like

Her heavenly smile is a rocket ship transporting him back to that magical instant

Every time he shuts his eyes camera shutter tight

He can still taste her tantalizing tongue snaking its way across his marginally younger lips

She was the sun who eclipsed

The moon of all others with blazing brilliant brightness

She unleashed the tiger from her caged self in the sweet silence of his company

A wild beast untamed

A creature so well hidden inside her it appeared almost mythical on other occasions

It took faith to believe she would one day play the flute again

Causing the viper to emerge from his basket

Wrapping his hands around her waist

Writhing like a reed in the wind down by the river banks

She comes back to him in songs and movie scenes

She visits him fleetingly in the dialogue of deity, strangers and stranger still friends

No stranger to danger she endangered her heart

When she allowed herself to trust him completely

She thought he was a forever kind of guy

Perhaps he should have taken the hint when she was acting coy and camera shy

She didn’t want their romance to be memorialized

She just wanted to coast through life a holiday fling was only a private joke stayed on her mind

Between her father and herself when first she came here

We sat beneath the shelter of steel shade

And watched the hours fade faster than we could snatch them

If only we were able to recapture that first perfect smooch

Coffee always tastes more delectable with you darling

I shot myself in the foot

I am the wounded pigeon stumbling round in the darkness

I made myself an easy target for ridicule

With my clumsy careless mannerisms displayed in all my glory whenever I’m around you

Thinking about how we never sang karaoke with a machine

Only in our private tragic magic garden space

Groping around in the darkness

Like a geriatric myopic clown hunting over every hill and dale for his spectacles

Only to discover them casually perched atop his head

Like a shy bird peeking its eyes out a hair nest

She had a fair amount of jests at my expense

Although it left us both feeling guilty as sin

It felt like the only way to make you smile was to push myself ever further til I shoved too far and we both tumbled over the edge of the abyss

Desire burned into lumps of sadly smoldering human clay

Now i shoulder the blame alone i drag it like a heavy lodestone

Up the hill to zion tossing my weighty woe in the jaws of a holy lion

Who roars over my trials and crushes them into powdery dust

Perhaps in this form i can cause you less harm

Now I’m no longer tangled up around your arms

Like a spool and thread

Like hair rope knotted in dreds around a follicle chewing pigtail lovers stomach

She couldn’t stomach my belly aching

She has forsaken me,  the thorn in her side

At last ripped out her life

So she throws back her skull and laughs til she cries

Or maybe she does both at once

Sitting in the corner with a dunce cap on my head

Stupid enough to blow sky high my only shot at happiness

Now I’m trying desperately to plug the grand Canyon like hole she left inside my heart

V2

She saw an angel in my eyes til sharper visionaries scrutinized my essence more deeply and uncovered the well camouflaged demons

I had kept from her lying just beneath the covers

A hasty sheet thrown over their heads

A sheepishly bleating klansman slaughtered by a beefy panther in possession of a slightly murderous edge

I see burning crosses in her eyes

I see the whirlpool of history all her excellence and my apathy

What was it that possessed her to spook me in the daylight hours

Some ancient still grinding axe of revenge perhaps

Cleverly submerged beneath her humorous veneer

V3

There are things she never wanted to know

But the cliche wasn’t true though I never knew

The exact number of boys she had been with

And vice versa with the genders reversed

Our ignorance was far from blissful

Dancing on a knife edge between child like innocent and perverse

My fingers sail across the star studded universe

Of her comets and asteroids

She would have been best to avoid me from the start

V4

It’s not like I eyed off other girls around her

But when I was home alone with my computer

It was a different story entirely

Or in the splendid company of all those dainty maidens

Dotting the landscape of my church yard in abundance

Chattering in clusters mostly closed off and distance

Yet a few slipped through the cracks and struck their arrows through my heart

V5

Struggling to avoid succumbing to those capsules of breathlessness

Still born daydreams dying in the wake of the latest revelation i was able to reveal to her alone

It wasn’t enough to beg and plead throw chairs, kick and scream

Her mind was made up i couldn’t change a thing

Indeed i shouldn’t have shifted the landscape between us

Causing her days and nights to be drenched with sorrow from now on

My arrogance forbids her to stumble upon a happy face to call her own unless it happens to be screwed upon the neck i own

Could she be mine again was i the swine she cast her pearls in front of

Forbidden by the prophets and wise merchants of wisdom incarnate

The flowers cast a spell of scattered blessings and curses blowing among the wind born weather

Windmills rotate as we mate with eyes alone

Not permitting ourselves to do the unthinkable

And give in completely to our throbbing biological God given urges

A sense of duty calling you home

The black hole my soul slid quickly into

The day i woke up and found you gone

V6

This time it’s real i can’t help her see the light mixed in with my dark personality anymore

An available coworker sounds like a flimsier excuse than a deep abiding love for Jesus or the fascination of a soul searching big question answering rasputin like high faluting desperado

Who i stood toe to toe with

As we drifted off to sea hearts cartwheeling off lover’s cliff

A fiery lake we couldn’t neglect forever

Surrender my body to the flames

Cos in your absence there exists no dame

Who can manage to satisfy my forlorn fervent feverish soul

Quite like you do

It’s a problem when you are barely in the game

Yet still you’re scared of a little competition

The trouble is you never truly knew what you wanted

From the moment we decided we’re a couple you began backing off from us

I know it happened too fast

We ended too soon

We couldn’t make it stretch like a giant band of rubber ringing round the moon

We couldn’t make it last

Now it’s only in my nightmares you keep blasting into view

If I didn’t make such a lifelong commitment maybe it would be a simpler task getting over you

Right now the only thing I’m committed to

Is insane asylums and Amityville

Jesus my homies and vitamin pills

V7

Don’t trust me unless you like getting hurt by liars

Sleeping in the fire i plunge myself into each eve

Deceived by the streams of desire my thirst would be quenched by these tongues of fire

But my appetite for self destructive doors leading to deeds of pleasure was only ever on the increase

I try to rationalize my actions and fail miserably

I am not years therefore I am nothing

I am emptiness I am absence i am vacant stares into space

Stairs into galaxies i climb in rhymeless treading

Leaden footsteps without her now

Once her pet puppy nestled noggin on her warm lap

Now eternally banished to the doghouse

With no hope for return this side of heaven

V8

Always thinking about the next one means i can never fully enjoy the company of the one I’m with

It’s not that complex to figure out the inner strength of the so called weaker sex

Perhaps indisputably fairer in the grace they bestow upon us undeserving boys

My password was hacked wasn’t going to cut the mustard as an adequate excuse this time around

She had had it up to her eyeballs with me

She had copped a bellyful of my candy coated verbal vomit

There was no goodness in me only this abiding affliction

The discomfort i brought her looping endlessly inside my head

V9

Is my current love interest going to punish me until the end of time for my pestering petulant past

I think I’m my own worst fiend in that regard

I am not the one you should be pointing the finger at

I am not responsible for the actions of your mum and dad

So please stop throwing us all in the same box

Like tossing lumps of different colored plasticine at the wall

I promise you baby girl I’m going to stick around for the long haul

Feels like I’m crawling around on all fours right now

I’m just a cockroach in your eyes honeysuckle blossom

Lying on the road belly up playing possum

I can’t allow myself to drag my cold blooded carcass down this road of life possessing love in my heart for absolutely no one

It’s hard when you can’t tell the difference between the voice of Jesus and satan

When my choices appear to be amoral or ambiguous

Can you help me out Lord

I need a strength my spirit don’t possess

To lift my broken wings up in flight

When my heart still moans each night for her airtight caress

Yes I will cherish the memory forever

Of the way you looked in that summery dress

Shimmering in the silvery sparkling lunar light

Once the diamond that pierced my bloodstream now available for another to possess

V10

She says she can’t allow her heart to be broken again

She’s not forgiving like beyonce

Her mercy is limited to ants and aphids

She carefully sidesteps to avoid crushing beneath her heels

My asteroid spins on her wheels now

Running rings round the rest though she detests me til kingdom come

I could blame it on the u.s.a

But she never asked to be my bae

United States of anxiety

Her paranoia flooded into me

I was always a bundle of nerves around her

I was a worthless piece of rubbish when I found her

Now my heart is only fit for her scrapheap

But maybe someone else will spot God’s treasure in me

Amidst the murky detritus of a shattered leopards organ built for pumping gaseous blood

 

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