That which genetics fidelity or physical limitation disables me from possessing

When I was little i wanted to be a doctor or an inventor.

Since then I learned that I do not have the necessary discipline, finances or brain power required to fulfill either of these dreams so I just let them slip through my fingers.

I never wanted to be a rapper until mysisters ex said my poetry sounded like rap.

I felt like I was at a cross roads between alternative grunge and hiphop.

I asked my friends advice as to which path to pursue and went and did the opposite so one may wonder why I asked his advice in the first place.

It might have something to do with the fact that he wanted to join the army so he could kill people that made me question his judgment.

When the recruiters came to school i wanted to join the navy cos they had the best uniforms but my parents dissuaded me from doing so cos they said they would swear at me and change me too much as a person.

I think they were also concerned about how well my Christianity would thrive if I was pulled out from under the protective wings of my home environment for an extended period of time.

I wanted to be dark skinned because I liked a girl with darker skin tones than me and I thought if I looked like her maybe she would have been willing to let me put my arms around her at our graduation year after party instead of dance awkwardly next to her.

Im sure there was an element of truth to my theory cos she was close to this extremely light skinned afro American dude at our school.

I didn’t know his cultural heritage til we had left though.

Until eminem came on the scene i wanted to be will smith.

He was always making everyone’s sides split with laughter in his rap videos and on the movies.

My introduction to him was getting jiggy with it.

My classmate mocked me cos I proudly showed her what I thought was the lyrics to the men in black theme song and it turned out i was way off the mark.

I want to have an album in the charts but I don’t have a publicist or manager.

It’s almost always been my dream to be a famous rapper and tour the world.

My dream just got a little more holy focused when my friend Fabian introduced me to gospel gangsters.

Before that on my grad year scripture union camp in mount tambourine a dude helped change the direction of my life when he said why not write about Jesus. He has done so much for you.

I couldn’t justify not writing about Jesus so there’s basically been no turning back on that topic for the last 16 years even during my periods of wayward living and swinging back and forth like a pendulum between faith and doubt.

I do have ambitions to be a preacher too but I only did 3 months of bible study.

I am not sure i could handle juggling the demands of shepherding a church and raising a family.

Unless you can delegate responsibility or can handle going without some luxury items such as brand new clothes every year and holidays i wouldn’t advise it as a career path unless you get a direct call from heaven.

I can’t have my fiance back in my life cos I told her i loved someone else even though there was no chance of me being able to form a relationship with that person cos she lives overseas

Or maybe that’s just the lie i tell myself to help myself cope with the fact that she’s not coming back into my life cos I wanted too much too soon from her.

I want a world free of poverty.

I want everyone in the world to be christians.

I want politicians to be honest and throw themselves out of office if they ever get corrupt.

I want bigger muscles and a chest slimmer than my current model.

I want a wife who believes in Jesus with a body like a supermodel or failing that one content in herself that she doesn’t need appreciation from others to know she looks good.

I want another dog cos mine kicked the bucket.

Mum and dad refuse to replace her though.

I see pets like sweet hearts.

The quickest way to get over the loss of one is to get another one.

I want to be able to have conversations with people that don’t dissipate into awkward silence.

I can’t have a mind devoid of mental problems but im not sure I’d want one cos the way my mind works gives me the ability to emphathise with the suffering of others.

I can’t be a woman but I wouldn’t want to bleed every month or have pain in childbirth.

I wish I had a time machine to go back and warn eve get your teeth away from that fruit honey its so not worth it.


I can’t have things my own way or get my every wish or all my prayers answered the way i want.

If I could i might enjoy it for a while but the predictability would eventually grow dull and boring.

If I had my way i would make heaven a place on earth right now but it’s only due to happen in God’s perfect timing.

I wish I had the power to ressurect my grandparents and dead uncles cos I only knew them as a wee lad of ten.

I wish I had a private jet to see my last remaining relatives whenever I wanted like my sister almost always can but maybe over familiarity might breed contempt.

I wish I had the confidence that all my friends and family know Jesus and are following Him with their whole hearts.

There’s a difference between knowing someone personally and just knowing about them.

For example i could tell you significant chunks of information about Michael Jordan’s life but my acquaintance from chi town actually collected Halloween candy from his home.

Apparently he was the most generous treat giver in the neighborhood.

I wanted to play soccer, rugby and basketball but lacked the hand to eye coordination.

I had asthma and I thought the ball was going to eat me so I ran away from it when it started heading in my direction in the school yard.

I hated poison ball or dodgeball cos I mostly hated hurting others and I strongly disliked participating in activities which deliberately make me vulnerable to bruises or injuries.

I wish I could talk in Holy Spirit language for hours at the drop of a hat like some people are able to do but it only ever happens for me in bursts of brief euphoric heavenly connection.

I only ever got a spirit song and the interpretation to one line in it once in my life.

I wish my ex choir didn’t force me to tuck my cross in my shirt cos it was against uniform policy.

I wish I had won 2 raffle baskets so I could give one away like my friend taz did with the only one he won.

I can’t have a do-over in those moments of my life when I hurt people with my words and actions

And those other moments when my silence caused me to miss out on what might have been a relationship with the perfect woman.

I like to rationalize if God intended me to be with them He would have made our conversations flow more smoothly or stop a slicker wittier dude from scuppering my chances of stealing her heart.

I wish I wasn’t so neglectful and incompetent in those kind of insecure relationships where you have no idea if you will ever see them again and both of you struggle to climb over the walls and barricades created by cultural and language differences.

These 2 things don’t have to be a problem but they probably require more patience and understanding than I possess in my entire being to overcome.

That’s what we’ve got God for i guess to provide a strength beyond ourselves and inject courage and tenacity inside us when the going gets tough.

I wish our dress codes were like American public schools so we didn’t get in trouble for wearing the wrong kind of hat or shirt on the wrong day.

I guess the blessing in our uniform policy was that we appreciated the beauty of girls all the more when they only had a rare chance to glamourize themselves.

They found ways to make their skirts shorter or wear long pants to avoid the eyes of us dirty minded boys.

I wish ladies my own age liked me.

As far as I can tell high school aged girls only like me as a friend and that’s the way it will always be unless I plan to spend the rest of my living days in prison.

I don’t know why 14 year old girls aren’t allowed to get married in western society.

I think it has something to do with assumptions society makes about their maturity level.

Some 14 year olds are smarter than females twice or thrice their age.

I do think it’s best for girls to get an education before they marry.

I wish I knew how to drive so I didn’t have to rely on my friends and family for transportation.

I wish I had enough money so I could afford to have lunch with my friends every Sunday and still be able to make an album a year for the rest of my life.

I have 2 under my belt but none have been released on a record label.

I also have 2 on Β Christian compilations made for campers and missionaries.

Actually it was more like glamping cos we slept in cabins

I wish Christian tv was available for free during prime time everywhere in the world.

I wish the moon was made of cheese but then it wouldn’t give us light and we would eventually run out of it.

It’s funny how the moon and sun both give us light but only the sun gives us warmth.

I wish tv, movies and music were free from swearing or blasphemy and immorality as they are the main forces of influence in our modern world.

I wish more people would more closely scrutinize the media for potential bias.

I wish people would be more open to the possibility of prosletysing of the Christian faith to all ages in every area of society.

I wish people wouldn’t divide the world into law makers and law breakers cos we are all flawed and painfully human.

I wish my church People were a safe haven where I wouldn’t have to hear cussing or grotty discussions about who is sleeping with whom behind such and suchs back.

Sometimes I wish I had never met my friends yet other times they are the greatest blessing known to man.

I wish I could only see the benefits of a codependent relationship and not its detrimental side effects.

I wish I could have had lunch with my friends and my ex without fear of my friends blurting out something racist or inappropriate in another way cos they thought my exs skin was too dark or she looked too much like a man.

I wish humans didn’t occasionally classify our self worth by the lightness or darkness of our skin tone, shade or color.

I wish we could arrive at that place Martin Luther King talked about where man is not judged by the color of his skin but by the contents of his or her character but maybe that place only exists on the other side of the gates of heaven.

That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t strive to make earth look like a more heavenly place.

God commanded us to be good stewards and caretakers of this planet.

I wish we could all go back to eden.

I wish Jesus didn’t have to die on the cross for my sins.

I will never be absolved of that guilt even though He went willingly to the cross He knew there was no other way i could be saved from the misery i bring upon myself except through Him.

I wish Jesus wasn’t so good cos He makes all of us Christian dudes suffer by comparison but that’s a good thing cos it stops us from getting swelled heads if we acknowledge the standard we have to measure up to.

We are not competing with Christ for the affection of our girlfriends but as fellow brides of Christ we are challenging ourselves constantly to be more like Him in how we treat each other and those not yet members of His body.

I wish abortion was illegal everywhere in the world including contraceptive drugs, partial birth murder and full term infanticide.

I wish I had a limitless supply of cutlery, dishes and clothes so I’d never have to waste water on cleaning them.

I wish I had wings so I could fly and visit godly pretty ladies in America without worrying about not having enough money in my bank account to be granted a visa or hunting for a place to stay so it doesn’t look like I’m just going to lie low from the law and go amish in the hill country Β ( a very attractive proposition right now ).

I think farms are better for holidays than a lifestyle choice for occupations.

I’m just glad plenty of people get a kick out of it so i don’t have to do it.

Ditto with sewerage, coal, rubbish workers ,oil refineries and all other dirty smelly jobs that escape the reach of my brain right now, probably cos I’ve never heard of them.

I wish we could just plant seeds in the soil without worrying about uprooting weeds or watering them.

I wish they could just jump out of the ground and harvest themselves.

Maybe they could before sin entered the world.

I wish I could read all the Christian books in the world and unread all the bad ones i have read which pull me further from God’s heart.

I wish I could read women’s minds so I knew what they were thinking of my comments before they open their mouths so I can absolutely guarantee that what they are saying and thinking is exactly the same thing and precisely ascertain their reaction to what I say.

I wish I wasn’t so scared of pushing women away that I hesitate to be myself around them just in case i give them the creeps or bore them to tears which frequently happens.

I wish I could be fun and exciting and faithful all the time.

I wish I could tell ahead of time when a relationship is going to crumble into dust so I can save all my love and affection for someone truly worth exhausting all my energy on.

I wish I knew whether having all my interests shared by the one I love is a guaranteed winner when it comes to keepers.

I wish I could eat a whole mountain of food in one sitting without worrying about growing a belly bulge the size of a small walrus.

I wish Hollywood had more faith in original ideas and didn’t just remake or reimagine the same old movies all the time.

I wish we could change the color of our skin every day.

Then if someone hated it we could just please them at the switch of a button.

I wish I could control the weather so I never have to make a mad dash and run like billy oh to escape the early onset of a thunderstorm.

I wish I knew all the answers to every question on earth so I could watch tv every night and never have to study for exams at school.

I wish I never had nightmares about hell but if I didn’t my soul would probably never develop a longing for heaven.

I wish I never had any money stolen off me.

I wish I had never argued with, bit or punched my sister.

I wish I had never stuck oranges down my shirt as a little kid but I’m 100% glad my parents dissuaded me from pretending to be a woman.

It’s funny that 400 years ago french guys used to wear high heels.

I hope you wouldn’t catch me dead in them.

I wish I was alive when Jesus was walking amongst His disciples.

I wonder how much we think of His character and personality would be an accurate assessment or just a figment of our collective imaginations.

I wish kids had never fought in the crusades.

I wish we could live in a world where no child is ever brainwashed into becoming a physical soldier.

The only kind of soldier we should ever be is spiritual soldiers for Christ fighting not against people just demons.

I wish the eyes of the world would be opened up to the reality of the spiritual war we are all fighting in instead of just narrowing their focus to this limited material plane of existence.

I wish all the rich countries didn’t keep the poor countries in a stranglehold of debt.

I wish multinational companies didn’t own so much of poor countries resources that they couldn’t even gain on exports cos most of the land is owned by overseas corporate giants.

I wish governments would be forced to act like the rest of us and not spend money they haven’t got or spend when they’re in debt.

I wish hating on and mistrusting priests and politicians wasn’t our unofficial national sport.

I wish people didn’t give each other bloody noses or missing heads just because they happen to disagree on matters of critical importance in regards to the future prospects of religion and politics.

I Β want this world to be truly free and not bleed forthe privilege



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