Don’t regress into regret

Regret is not a bad thing if it causes u to aim for a better life for yourself only if it causes u to abandon hope.

It is not useful to constantly remind yourself of how u ought to live your life better, beating urself up over what you could have done differently n over analysing every infintisemal detail of your talk speech and actions for sign of flaws.

If you are seeking to find fault in your self you will always find it, likewise if you are looking for something to celebrate about your behavior or more precisely what God has kept you from doing as well as what He has enabled you to do or accomplish.

If you consider the scope of all your achievements it has a cumulative effect of forming a picture of happiness within your soul and gradually replaces your negative self image of someone who never does anything right, who always succeeds in failing at everything he or she tries and is no good to man or beast like a submarine with fly screens.

They say those who don’t learn a lesson from the past are doomed to repeat it.

That viewpoint is too fatalistic to me cos all creation is ultimately subject to the will of God.

Perhaps we would do well to consider the worst case scenario of how bad things could have turned out in our life and how much better off we are by comparison with those whose lives twisted n turned down a different path.

Not that we sit ourselves in judgment over those people but we thank God for His mercy in saving us from that kind of a life.

If others make the most of our missed opportunities for example picking up where we left off in a relationship with our old crush we mustn’t let our minds wander intothe unhelpful fantasy world of what might have been if only he or she was mine or make up a story that isn’t necessarily true about how we would fill the shoes of their partner much more appropriately.

If God decides to intervene n break up that relationship we mustn’t come circling round like a wolf lurking after a lamb seperated from the herd unless we feel God’s conviction n calling directing usto be with that person confirmed by multiple witnesses that dont have a personal connection with us and don’t try to manipulate God or superimpose our desires upon His will.

Perhaps it’s helpful to overcome regret by disassociating from the person we used to be before we came to know God by deliberately n intentionally cutting off those people or things from our life we know are having a destructive or hellbound influence on us.

It is important to be lights in the darkness but if we know certain people or activities are leading us astray we are only playing with fire n giving ourselves more things to regret and remind ourselves of later by continuing to participate in unwholesome behavior that detracts from our spiritual well being n plagues our spirits.

Some people berate themselves over the most inane n insignificant things such as missing outon the last dress in a clearance sale or forgetting to stick the napkins on the table when the vicar n his wife come to visit.

We can’t allow ourselves to fuss so much about table manners or dressing in the latest or most daring n shocking fashions that we lose sight of what’s truly important.

We must prioritize the needs of the spirit over the needs of the body.

Some people get so hung up over having a plump rump belly or cleavage or the perfect trimmed eyebrows that they neglect the most important relationship in their life between them and God or the ones He gave us to love n share life with.

My ex regretted being seen in public with me by members of her culture or people group her fellow melanesians, possibly because they might report on our activities back to her family.

Even after I publically announced our engagement she was reluctant to do the same online making me look like a fool because she refused to corroborate my story by publicly acknowledging our relationship or wearing her 3 in 1 engagement ring in public.

I do regret not waiting a week to propose to her cos I couldn’t afford all the cost of her ring So she had to contribute part of it with her own money.

The following week her ring set was reduced in the same place for the exact amount she supplied for its purchase.

This is a regret for me cos I had enough to cover the cost that morning but I absent mindedly spent it on something else.

I regret it more though cos she wasted her money on our relationship when it ended up internally combusting less than 6 months later.

I regret leaving an ice cream tub with 10 smackeroos in it in full view of my other youth group members cos I was naive enough as a little kid to assume that thieves don’t exist among christians.

Perhaps you could say God later on gave me an opportunity to get compensated for my loss when a kind lady offered me 20 bucks but I refused cos I assumed she thought i was homeless cos I used to rummage through bins for cans cos I had a workmate who turned the ringpulls into wheelchairs for usage by hospital patients.

I don’t regret my past relationships but I do wish I had been more godly in them so I can live without the lingering guilt in my conscience.

I regret not listening to the warnings of older and wiser folk who advised me that I show more love and respect for my woman if I don’t touch certain areas of her body before marriage or allow her to have physical contact with my most intimate areas.

Genius is not always created in hindsight.

Some of us are smart enough to recognize the voice of wisdom n act on it instead of foolishly realizing the morning after with a splitting headache waking up in an unfamiliar bed or in some random gutter because we forgot our way home in a crazy moment of blind drunkenness

We may be allowing people in our lives to feed us regret or even to inhibit it so they can continue to manipulate us n maintain their influence on our lives like puppets on strings.

They say we are becoming a culture that is more cruel less kind.

Little children are maliciously tricking each other into consuming things they know will poison them.

They talk about the age of innocence but that is fast becoming a thing of the past with young girls dressing like miniature adults and little boys making sexual advances to them in the playground.

We are becoming a culture devoid of guilt and shame.

Or more accurately we are not allowing guilt and shame to be expressed in public suppressing the offering of therapy for those who wish to catapult themselves into a more morally righteous future.

We still treat some immoral behavior as worthy of scorn but generally speaking we are becoming a more anything goes society.

There is more rationalization of deception in n outside the courtroom.

Honesty used to be seen as the best policy in business practices.

We know God’s love covers a multitude of sins but that doesn’t mean we can live like residents or presidents of evil ville 6 days a week or most of our lives n gamble on the chances of God returning in the next 60 seconds.

Personally I don’t want to live with that kind of risk.

I like the peace confidence n security of knowing my heart is in the right place n my eternal residence is safeguarded thanks to walking in alignment with the will of God and the forgiveness wrought by Jesus’s blood.

If i was Jesus i would probably regret dying for a brat like me.

Perhaps the problem is i can’t see myself being able to escape the rat wheel of addictions leading to guilt and regret.

The devil makes us feel bad about the very deeds n thoughts he tempts us to indulge in.

I’m not suggesting we numb or dull our conscience by repeated sin or locking ourselves into a lifestyle of habitual behavior which feeds our notions of depravity n makes us more callous, ┬áless compassionate n more cold hearted self indulgent individuals.

Far from it.

Its only when we walk away from our old ways of stinking thinking that we start to realize how much freer we are without carrying around the burden of knowing we will keep returning like a dog to our vomit like lifestyles.

If we focus on delighting in the Lord we will find the desires of our hearts changing into those that mirror His.

We will no longer see pleasing Him as a boring chore but instead view it as a passion.

We are only shackled by regret if we give it the power to control us.

It helps us to be more comfortable with occasional slip ups by reminding ourselves of this truth noone who ever lived and breathed more than the time it takes for babies to develop a conscience ever traveled the journey between birth n death with nothing to regret.

The more we focus on the things we regret the more likely we will be to do them again.

We need to find other things to occupy our minds.

In some cases facing regret requires repeating an experience that caused us to experience such as if you fall off your bicycle n don’t injure yourself to the point of fracturing or breaking a bone you may still suffer trauma as a result but you can conquer both regret n trauma by facing your fear of pain n terror.

All regret is associated with pain even if its mental or emotional not physical.

In terms of relationships they say it’s better to have loved n lost than never to have loved at all but i say it’s a far better thing to save all your love for the one God approves of so you don’t cause suffering for your loved ones by comparing past relationships with the present and expecting your beau to replicate the same pattern of behavior as your ex even though they have enough of a significant difference in their dna to make their life path contrast with the one you wound up with assuming like me it isn’t just a stuffed gorilla toy.


it helps us avoid regret caused by comparing ourselves unfavorably against others by avoiding ┬ámagazines and television commercials which are designed to inspire greed and jealousy making us want what we don’t have or hate ourselves because we don’t make enough money to afford the latest n greatest gizmos, sports vehicles or multiple holidays in a year.

The fact is if we don’t need it there’s no need to have regret over it.

Having been to several developing countries i have to say those with the greatest presence of christians n the least amount of physical possessions have the least amount of worries n the greatest amount of happiness.

Yet the u.n thinks owning a computer should be a basic human right.

This while sex slavery n indentured servitude still exists, ┬áheads are chopped in saudi arabia n terrorist run/ funding nations, babies are aborted globally n some christians have to pray n read their bible in secret cos if they don’t they’ll get thrown in jail.

We should not regret the influence of Christianity in our world.

It is through the influence of Christianity that pedophilia n cannibalism has become the exception rather than the rule as well as bestiality  homosexuality n incestuous relationships.

It is because of Christianity we currently have rules in place preventing animal cruelty.

The bible advocates caring for all the creatures and things God has made be they animal, vegetable or mineral.

If you are suffering regret remember criminal behavior does not equate to criminal destiny.

Even in the heart of the most decrepit filthy minded villain there is potential for redemption by God’s amazing grace.

While we breathe there is hope.

Let’s not waste our breath but live our lives to the fullest expression of the potential God intended for us to live out waiting in eager anticipation of His dreams being fulfilled in our lives from the beginning of creation until now




How do we stop regret from destroying us n find worth in who we are in Christ instead of other people’s opinions or comments of approval

I am one of those people who still cries years later about the apple crumble I made in my freshman year of junior high that got gobbled up by my dog cos it was burned in the oven.

Not that I don’t like giving my dog treats.

She found ways to help herself n grab things off the side of the table til she got old n her legs got bunged up.

I fished coins out of the mud cos I was desperate for a little extra cash.

Mum and dad aren’t the types to just give you something you didn’t work for unless it’s threads n shoes when yours get worn out but overtime they have mellowed out n buy me coffees or tasty treats every now and then.

I’m not stupid though.

I don’t push for jewelry or expensive stuff.

I mostly get them to take me places n use them like a taxi service.

Sometimes I’m more civil and more willing to interact with perfect strangers or cabbies than my own flesh and blood.

I know that’s not a good thing but it is what it is.

I have tried to change to please people when I can recognize that obeying godly leaders is the same as obeying God whose opinion ultimately matters to me more than any human cos His opinion of me dictates whether i qualify for heaven or hell.

There is no relativist negotiating of what exactly constitutes truth when it comes to God.

His word is bond n law.

There’s no ifs ,buts and maybes about it.

It is a liberating thing to be freed of the oxytocin injection addiction that comes whenever someone expresses delight in what we do.

We love it when it happens but we don’t go seeking it out.

We must concentrate more on what matters most instead of what matters less.

If you are freed from the obligation to please people you will be more bold in standing up for righteousness cos you will care less about being on the top of their friends list and more about their eternal destination.

I am not foolish enough to think God’s approval of my behavior is related to my ability to enter through the pearly gates.

The only behavior that matters to God is having a heart of repentance, being willing to make things right with Him n get back on track when I slide off it N those souls He uses us to nudge towards His celestial domain n hopefully pull them out of the flames instead of out of the frying pan into the fire with false teaching and /or hedonistic living.

Because of the fear of being led astray many a good modern Christian has forced him or herself into a lifestyle of holy lone wolfishness.

It’s easy for our faith to die in total Isolation yet occasionally withdrawing from the world n its influence can be beneficial to our spirits.

Lets be honest.

Both God n the devil can reach you when you’re hiding in a cave, strolling through a ghost town, bush landscape or deserted beach.

If we can get away from all the noise of our electronic distractions we are more easily able to hear God.

We may also be more able to fight the devil when he has less tools at his disposal which he wasn’t smart enough to create but which he uses to manipulate n bend to his will.

We need to remember there’s no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus for the love of the spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set us free from the law of sin and death.

We can’t continually allow the devil to assasinate our character and remind us of our past sins and mistakes.

Not all failure can be automatically linked to morality or intelligence.

These are our failsafe go to explanations most of the time when we mess up though.

We need to replace the words of the devil which tear us down with the words of Christ that build us up n guide us towards a better future.

God can use high or low self esteem.

As long as we keep our eyes on Him and remember His position of authority over us .

He is never less or equal to us but always above us n beyond us yet ever willing to get intimate with us.

He came down to our level n wore our skin so He knows the scourge of temptation yet unlike us He never caves in.

We don’t know if Jesus was able to prevent Himself from having dirty dreams.

Being God He should be able to prevent Himself from being tempted as well as giving into it even on a subconscious level.

Perfection is something we are able to grasp on the other side of heaven.

Note we don’t become christians to ultimately sign up for a God replacement program.

That was satans mistake.

We are always subject to God’s will n authority.

We will simply soak up the presence of Gods glory for all eternity n praise n worship Him in every language.

This side of heaven we wrestle with complexes of inferiority or superiority in regards to our race.

Of course some are able to simply view their true identity as souls in skin suits with tickets to heaven or hell.

I know what I’d rather have.

Culture shouldn’t be negated but celebrated when it matches the heartbeat of Jesus.

There is no song , dance, painting, play , sculpture, musical instrument or performance piece that can’t be turned from self or Satan’s glory towards His glory.

Although the bible appears to forbid tattoos by Banning the cutting of flesh in memorial of the dead i know people who have felt God calling them to get tattoos after getting baptized.

Who am I to doubt someones personal interactions with God.

If i never walked in their shoes inside their body, owned their struggle n processed their thoughts in their brain i have no right to assume i know the intentions of their hearts.

We have traditionally been taught to presume innocence until proven guilty but often in our self talk n the way we perceive others we do the complete opposite.

We need to replace the lies of the devil with the truth of Gods word.

When we do good things for others by offering gifts of physical things or contributing our time or say something to them to make them feel good about themselves we are doing the Lord’s work whether we believe in Him or not.

In doing this we are also helping to defeat depression which rears its ugly head most often when we make an error in judgment but in perfectionists always leaves them unsatisfied n lacking in contentment with their effort or performance.

If we do good things simply cos of the benefit it yields in lifting our mood we will care less about getting people’s tick of approval n more at peace with the fact we are making Jesus proud.

It is better to do good deeds in secret than to do them in a way that’s drawing more attention to ourselves than Him.

If we do good deeds in secret our father in heaven who sees what we do in secret shall reward us openly.

If people tell us how much they love what we do on earth we have already gotten our reward but its a far better thing to store up for ourselves treasure in heaven where moth n rust can’t destroy n where thieves can’t break in n steal.

Is our treasure n heart located in our maker.?

If that’s the case we are treasured by His heart.

We must not keep beating ourselves up over what happened in the past even if it was only a second ago.

We must not allow our past to define who we are as a person.

We must place our future in the loving nurturing guaranteed safety fortress of Jesus’s hands.

T.b.c ­čśŐ