how not to be a godly kid

whenever mum tells me to take my old sheets off my bed , hang washing outside or pick things off the floor so she can mop its tiled cover I get annoyed.

this can either manifest as loud sighing or shouting/ speaking to her in a loud voice or annoyed tone.

I also react badly when she asks me to weed the garden which is why she hardly ever asks.

I know I have a bad attitude .

I get so used to reacting in a certain way.

I know the more often I choose to react in a holy way instead of an unholy way the more it will start to feel natural even though its really supernatural and a miracle and the result of Christ working in me shaping and moulding and changing my nature from evil to good.

I have tried rationalizing in the past.

this woman has given me life. she nurtured me in her womb for nine months she wiped my poopy bottom cleaned up my vomit and put up with my verbal abuse in insult form for years.

she endured my negligence and lazy attitude for multiple decades.

she has been extremely patient and long suffering with me.

she has lived out an example of that 1st Corinthians 13 love.

love suffers long and is kind. it is patient. it keeps no record of wrongs.

I have to fight to prevent myself from doing that.

its so tempting to be petty and hug grievances.

I know Jesus has forgiven me of much so I am conversely able to forgive others of much.

selah

it shocked me today when I heard there is still a wage disparity between African americans and other types of americans.

this has to change.

I don’t know why statistically African americans are charged more for crimes than other types of americans.

is this a corrupt police system or is it the result of an overabundance of gangs pushing people into crime?

we know the bloods and crips got started cos African American kids were being bullied so they decided there was safety in numbers and they decided to stick up for each other and help each other fight their battles.

it started out with good intentions as did hells angels but these groups all spiralled out of control and the bullied became the bullies when they gained power and influence.

in the beginning protecting your set meant looking out for your  friends it didn’t mean exploiting everybody on the block.

something got twisted along the way.

selah

it disappoints me when people call themselves Christians and swear.

I know if someone checked my notifications they would see lots of sleazy comments directed towards women.

maybe some would see them as sleazy and others as just obsessively romantic.

I know I have to work on the way I relate to women better.

it’s hard for me to just be friends with them.

I was never much of a friend to my sister.

we only used to chat in the advertisement breaks on the television shows we watched.

I regret now all the time I wasted arguing over what show to watch.

it seemed so important at the time but I realize now our fights were always so trivial and needless.

I had so many books to read that I just neglected and left on my shelf and only now when it is harder than ever for me to concentrate on something for extended periods of time without screaming am I realizing the richness of the treasure I was given that I missed out of using.

I couldn’t tell you the plots of most of the movies and television show episodes I have watched in my life .

I have read plenty of trashy books that aren’t worth mentioning.

even worthwhile books I wouldn’t bother to read twice cos lifes too short and I literally have hundreds of volumes to work my way through.

selah

im glad my friend t is talking about how autotune isn’t worth listening to .

im glad we don’t live in a world where machine treated vocals have  completely replaced the natural human voice which I consider far superior even with all its flaws cos its the flaws that make our voices interesting.

its possible for someones singing to be too perfect.

I love to hear when someones voice is trained but I also don’t mind when it’s a little rough around the edges when there’s a little huskiness and gravel in their throat.

selah

I don’t get why some Christians are pulling away from Christian content in their raps.

there is probably work for Gods kingdom that’s being done behind the scenes but I would rather they put the truth out there cos it desperately needs to be heard.

some people in the world of Christian hip hop talk more about Jesus in interviews and churches where they preach than they do on wax.

I wouldn’t call Lecrae safe anymore. not since he started talking about women being thick meaning they have big bottoms on let the trap say amen and when he talked about selling pills on the same album.

I don’t get why he would talk about having a new chick when he still has a wife.

if he was talking about when he first met his wife he should have contextualized it.

selah

I don’t get why my friend would want to advertise the person she was before knowing Christ on her website . there are better ways to do it without showing the videos of who she used to be.

I do admire her for being bold enough to shelve an album before its release cos she didn’t want her first audio representation of who she was to be a mockery of Christ or a contradiction of her faith.

it’s sad my friend t isn’t gonna make another album.

there are too many quality cats hanging up their hat before their time to shine Is gone these days.